The Mission...50 miles for orphans
On Saturday, November 21, 2009, Jeff and Doug will be running 50 miles in the 47th annual JFK race (for race info go to http://www.jfk50mile.org/ )
1 Corinthians 9:24-26 says "Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in the their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with a purpose in every step."
Paul challenges us as Christians to not just jog through this life and not to sit in the grandstand and cheer others on, but to run this race of life as though we want to win...win the prize in our heavenly reward.
Join us...don't just cheer us on, but run the race with us by pledging to support the building of a new orphanage home for girls in The Good Samaritan Orphanage. The new building will allow ample space for all of them to sleep on their own bed, do school work, have a rec room to be together, and have green grass to play on and to grow vegetables which will be of great value to them.
To make a pledge per mile, please send an email to haiti@denlinger.net
Include your full name, address, email address, phone number, and pledge amount.
Your tax deductible donation will be collected after the race.
A little history on the orphanage...
In 1999 two wonderful people we call Papa and Mama began taking in children. They have made a home for girls who were abandoned, abused, or in a situation where their parents could no longer care for them. These girls have grown into teenagers and Mama and Papa continue to open their hearts for more children in need of a home. There are currently 21 girls living in the orphanage. In 2005, Mama and Papa bought a piece of land out of the city a bit where there is green grass and fruit tress all around with a beautiful view of the mountains with the hope of building a new home for these children. The building they are currently in is a rental property where the rent could be raised each year. There is only room for 10 beds which means the girls sleep two per bed. The yard is dirt and stones. There is a lot of noise and pollution in the air.
In 2008, Jeff and Doug took a trip to Haiti with a team from our church and visited the orphanage and met Mama and Papa. They along with Steve Spahr and Doug Thomas went on a mission to get sponsors for these children. Since then, we help pay school fees and deliver supplies to them, but Mama and Papa give above and beyond from their own resources for these kids. We are looking to help them fulfill the vision God has given them in this new home for orphaned kids. This will be a hands on project Jeff and I will be managing while working along side Haitians and American teams traveling down to Haiti beginning in the summer of 2010.
Thank you for running the race with us!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
October trip summary
Haiti Oct 8-12, 2009
By Deb Denlinger
October 8, 2009, a team of 16 Americans traveled to Haiti and very humbly became the hands and feet of God by ministering to pastors, teachers and orphans. This was possible because of the many people here who gave of their resources so willingly before we went. So while 16 people actually traveled to Haiti, many, many more were part of the team. We took with us; hygiene items, towels, school supplies, clothes, and first aid supplies. We planned to take these items to three different orphanages to help their daily lives be just a bit better. We also set a goal of raising $1000 to buy food for a large orphanage in Leogane, Haiti that was in need. That $1000 turned into $2700. I couldn’t imagine how we would physically take that much food to the orphanage. I resigned to the idea that we would take as much food as we could and the rest of the money would be left for someone to get more food for them in a month when they were in need again. I didn’t know at the time that God had a plan for that money.
Another item we took with us was a portable sound system for a pastor whose church is bursting at the seams with members, but has to rent a sound system every week because they don’t have the resources to buy one. As we presented the sound system to Pastor Nathan, he talked about how his church, which he started in the downstairs of his home, began small and now there are so many members that people sit in the stairwell and stand in the street to hear him preach and to worship God. This sound system blessed him because now, many more people will be able to hear about God’s love and forgiveness. His faith in God for providing for the church and the people in it is unshakeable. He shares love abundantly with the people in his community. I learned how to give praise to God for everything we have through Pastor Nathan.
We took some of the supplies brought with us and spent a day helping to get a boys orphanage ready for opening. We painted, cleaned, hung ceiling fans and shelves, and played with some of the boys that would be living there. What a blessing to see the smiles on the boys’ faces when they saw their new home. We were God’s hands and feet that day. I learned that a little can go a long way.
We visited a new school whose purpose is to educate kids in the community who wouldn’t be able to attend school due to poverty. It started with 2 students and is now up to 20. The school has very little supplies and the teachers work as volunteers because there is no money to pay them. They do it anyway because it is important. Our mere presence as Americans in the school put a stamp of approval on it so Haitians in the community would know the school has a future. Just by being there, we supported the two men who started this school and the teachers who are giving so freely. I learned what it means to give without expecting recognition or anything in return.
Our plan for the Leogane Orphanage was to take the load of food and supplies, do a basic medical clinic, and spend time with kids who are not only physically hungry, but also emotionally hungry. Before going to Leogane, I prayed that God would reveal to us if there was a need we didn’t yet know about. We then found out that a Haitian doctor would be traveling with us to help check the children. He assumed some of them probably had intestinal worms and scabies. We used some of the extra food money to buy medication to treat both illnesses for about 20 children. As the team worked in the medical clinic, the games, the craft center, the play-doh center, I made my way around the orphanage and the activities and my eyes were opened to what I may have missed when I visited there in July. I heard those in the medical clinic talk about how very sick most of the children were with worms, scabies, fevers, and mal-nutrition. I saw many beds lined up side by side with germ infested wool blankets for mattresses. I saw bathrooms that were an avenue for sickness to thrive and to be shared. I saw the children’s arms when I lifted their shirts which were nothing more than bones with skin and it cut me deep. For a moment, I felt overwhelmed. I questioned what we were even doing there that day and how we were even going to make a difference. Then God spoke and His peace took over. He loves these children. God made it clear that we were there for a reason and I could either sit back and feel bad for them or I could seek to find ways to allow God to work through me and this team. Then I saw that God was already there working through the team…loving these children, holding these children, having fun with these children, and helping them physically and medically. We would come up with some more steps to help this orphanage get better physically. We would provide more stuff that would help to prevent the spread of germs. We would ask Dr. Jude to educate the pastor, caregivers, and kids on hygiene and prevention. The extra food money that I couldn’t figure out what to do with would be used to treat all 100 kids for worms and scabies. We trust that God will bring more people to help buy more food when needed. But after reflecting on the worship we witnessed in that place prior to our activities with the kids, I realized, yes, we helped these kids in many ways, but their faith in God for their very existence and for their basic needs has taught me so much more. We may be rich in resources and knowledge, but these children and their pastor are rich in faith and trust in God and that is what matters for eternity.
Who is ministering to who here?
We give much to Haiti, but Haiti gives us so much more.
By Deb Denlinger
October 8, 2009, a team of 16 Americans traveled to Haiti and very humbly became the hands and feet of God by ministering to pastors, teachers and orphans. This was possible because of the many people here who gave of their resources so willingly before we went. So while 16 people actually traveled to Haiti, many, many more were part of the team. We took with us; hygiene items, towels, school supplies, clothes, and first aid supplies. We planned to take these items to three different orphanages to help their daily lives be just a bit better. We also set a goal of raising $1000 to buy food for a large orphanage in Leogane, Haiti that was in need. That $1000 turned into $2700. I couldn’t imagine how we would physically take that much food to the orphanage. I resigned to the idea that we would take as much food as we could and the rest of the money would be left for someone to get more food for them in a month when they were in need again. I didn’t know at the time that God had a plan for that money.
Another item we took with us was a portable sound system for a pastor whose church is bursting at the seams with members, but has to rent a sound system every week because they don’t have the resources to buy one. As we presented the sound system to Pastor Nathan, he talked about how his church, which he started in the downstairs of his home, began small and now there are so many members that people sit in the stairwell and stand in the street to hear him preach and to worship God. This sound system blessed him because now, many more people will be able to hear about God’s love and forgiveness. His faith in God for providing for the church and the people in it is unshakeable. He shares love abundantly with the people in his community. I learned how to give praise to God for everything we have through Pastor Nathan.
We took some of the supplies brought with us and spent a day helping to get a boys orphanage ready for opening. We painted, cleaned, hung ceiling fans and shelves, and played with some of the boys that would be living there. What a blessing to see the smiles on the boys’ faces when they saw their new home. We were God’s hands and feet that day. I learned that a little can go a long way.
We visited a new school whose purpose is to educate kids in the community who wouldn’t be able to attend school due to poverty. It started with 2 students and is now up to 20. The school has very little supplies and the teachers work as volunteers because there is no money to pay them. They do it anyway because it is important. Our mere presence as Americans in the school put a stamp of approval on it so Haitians in the community would know the school has a future. Just by being there, we supported the two men who started this school and the teachers who are giving so freely. I learned what it means to give without expecting recognition or anything in return.
Our plan for the Leogane Orphanage was to take the load of food and supplies, do a basic medical clinic, and spend time with kids who are not only physically hungry, but also emotionally hungry. Before going to Leogane, I prayed that God would reveal to us if there was a need we didn’t yet know about. We then found out that a Haitian doctor would be traveling with us to help check the children. He assumed some of them probably had intestinal worms and scabies. We used some of the extra food money to buy medication to treat both illnesses for about 20 children. As the team worked in the medical clinic, the games, the craft center, the play-doh center, I made my way around the orphanage and the activities and my eyes were opened to what I may have missed when I visited there in July. I heard those in the medical clinic talk about how very sick most of the children were with worms, scabies, fevers, and mal-nutrition. I saw many beds lined up side by side with germ infested wool blankets for mattresses. I saw bathrooms that were an avenue for sickness to thrive and to be shared. I saw the children’s arms when I lifted their shirts which were nothing more than bones with skin and it cut me deep. For a moment, I felt overwhelmed. I questioned what we were even doing there that day and how we were even going to make a difference. Then God spoke and His peace took over. He loves these children. God made it clear that we were there for a reason and I could either sit back and feel bad for them or I could seek to find ways to allow God to work through me and this team. Then I saw that God was already there working through the team…loving these children, holding these children, having fun with these children, and helping them physically and medically. We would come up with some more steps to help this orphanage get better physically. We would provide more stuff that would help to prevent the spread of germs. We would ask Dr. Jude to educate the pastor, caregivers, and kids on hygiene and prevention. The extra food money that I couldn’t figure out what to do with would be used to treat all 100 kids for worms and scabies. We trust that God will bring more people to help buy more food when needed. But after reflecting on the worship we witnessed in that place prior to our activities with the kids, I realized, yes, we helped these kids in many ways, but their faith in God for their very existence and for their basic needs has taught me so much more. We may be rich in resources and knowledge, but these children and their pastor are rich in faith and trust in God and that is what matters for eternity.
Who is ministering to who here?
We give much to Haiti, but Haiti gives us so much more.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
My First Post
I guess it's time for me to post something on our new blog. As I have been thinking of something clever and inspiring to share with everyone, I quickly found out that I'm not that clever or inspiring. So I guess I'll just share with you some of my thoughts and reflections ever since I came back from Haiti last week.
Most of my thoughts can be summed up with one word, "Gratitude" and I feel this is a great opportunity for me to express some overdue Thank Yous.
Thank you to the 14 people that joined Deb and I on this last trip to Haiti. You all gave your time, money, heart, and a part of yourselves to the people of Haiti. You all were a true reflection of Christ's love and compassion.
Thank you to Steve and Justin for putting together a great video of our ministry for missions Sunday at Church. Awareness = Change.
Thank you to Doug and Randie for all your support, friendship, and understanding through this time of transition. Plus all the work on the new brochure for the Ministry and excepting the role as the "Director of Trips". Friends can be partners!!!
Thank you to Tony and Cindy, you have seen the vision and encouraged us to strive forward. I can only smile when I think of your future in missions.
Thank you to Doug and Ger. Bro you are my rock, my supporter, and now my partner in this mission that God has laid before us. "Time to rock and role" as you would put it.
Thank you to all the sponsors of Good Samaritan. By you saying "yes" you are providing hope and changing the future for 31 very special lives.
Thank you to Pat and Jess. You are both the definition of friendship. You've believed in us, supported us, journeyed with us, and have just been there for us. Thanksgiving at the beach, Best Ever!!! (sorry Mom)
Thank you to Matt and Marv and making me aware and allowing us to join the fight.
Thank you to Pastor Nathan for allowing me or better put forcing me to share my heart with his congregation in Haiti.
Thank you to the little girl that asked Jesus into her heart during that service.
Thank you to my parents. I am who I am not because of your words but because of your example.
Thank you Colton, Kylie, and Brooke. You are my smile and my joy. I love you all unconditionally.
Thank you to my wife and partner in life. You have always been there for me, loved me, forgiven me, and had faith in me. I can't imagine taking this journey with anyone else. Mwen renmen ou!!!
Finally Thank you Jesus. Without you in my life I am nothing.......
Most of my thoughts can be summed up with one word, "Gratitude" and I feel this is a great opportunity for me to express some overdue Thank Yous.
Thank you to the 14 people that joined Deb and I on this last trip to Haiti. You all gave your time, money, heart, and a part of yourselves to the people of Haiti. You all were a true reflection of Christ's love and compassion.
Thank you to Steve and Justin for putting together a great video of our ministry for missions Sunday at Church. Awareness = Change.
Thank you to Doug and Randie for all your support, friendship, and understanding through this time of transition. Plus all the work on the new brochure for the Ministry and excepting the role as the "Director of Trips". Friends can be partners!!!
Thank you to Tony and Cindy, you have seen the vision and encouraged us to strive forward. I can only smile when I think of your future in missions.
Thank you to Doug and Ger. Bro you are my rock, my supporter, and now my partner in this mission that God has laid before us. "Time to rock and role" as you would put it.
Thank you to all the sponsors of Good Samaritan. By you saying "yes" you are providing hope and changing the future for 31 very special lives.
Thank you to Pat and Jess. You are both the definition of friendship. You've believed in us, supported us, journeyed with us, and have just been there for us. Thanksgiving at the beach, Best Ever!!! (sorry Mom)
Thank you to Matt and Marv and making me aware and allowing us to join the fight.
Thank you to Pastor Nathan for allowing me or better put forcing me to share my heart with his congregation in Haiti.
Thank you to the little girl that asked Jesus into her heart during that service.
Thank you to my parents. I am who I am not because of your words but because of your example.
Thank you Colton, Kylie, and Brooke. You are my smile and my joy. I love you all unconditionally.
Thank you to my wife and partner in life. You have always been there for me, loved me, forgiven me, and had faith in me. I can't imagine taking this journey with anyone else. Mwen renmen ou!!!
Finally Thank you Jesus. Without you in my life I am nothing.......
Thursday, October 15, 2009
our story of transformation
Our Story of Transformation
By Jeff and Deb Denlinger
Being “uncomfortable” is a quote I have heard over and over again this past year. Jeff and I have been listening to a variety of sermons and pastors and the theme of God not wanting us to be comfortable kept resurfacing. It makes sense now why I was feeling uncomfortable when for the first two years (2005 and 2006) we lived in our brand new house (the garage is literally the size of the main living area of our last house), we hosted a Christmas party for all of our friends and I felt “uncomfortable”. We spent a bunch of money and time and it left me feeling somewhat empty and I can remember asking myself “what is this for? Our friends aren’t in need and we could have done something else with that money and time”. Unbeknownst to me this was the beginning of a journey of transformation. Over the course of the next two years I was reading the book “If you want to walk on Water, You’ve got to Get Out of the Boat” by John Ortberg. I felt this stirring in me that was inexplicable. I would tell Jeff and a few of my close friends that I knew God was preparing me for something big and many times I would hear myself saying “I just don’t know if what I’m doing here is enough, it isn’t making enough of a difference in people’s lives or for God’s kingdom”. I began telling God that I was ready to step out of my boat, but I didn’t know what water I was stepping onto. I thought I was ready. God knew I wasn’t. I continued on in prayer seeking what God was leading us to do.
In June of 2008 I had the privilege of taking a short term mission trip to the country of Haiti. I had no idea how my life was about to change when I stepped off of the plane into a world where physical impoverishment is prevalent and spiritual dependence is real. My inward thinking was about to be challenged, my small world was about to be enlarged, my eyes were about to be opened, and my heart was going to feel love and compassion like never before.
I went on this trip to help fix a roof of a school that educates over 400 kids. While we were there we visited and spent a large part of our free time with an orphanage called Good Samaritan. By the end of the week God gave me a glimpse of the love and compassion He has for these thirty special children. I had the desire to do whatever I could to help them reach their full potential in Christ.
Myself and four other guys came home and started a partnership with Good Samaritan. Within six weeks we had almost all of the kids sponsored with twenty two additional families. I took great pleasure in knowing that I was a part of getting thirty kids in Haiti fed everyday and giving them an opportunity to get an education, not realizing at the time what God really had planned for me and my family.
As Jeff prepared to go on his first trip to Haiti, I was searching God. Shouldn’t I be the one going? After all, every trip our church has taken to Haiti has been ministering to children and that is my area of gifting. Jeff had no experience with young kids other than our own nor did he feel comfortable with them. No, God said no, you should not go. I stayed behind, but knew that when Jeff returned, we would know if this was what God had been nudging us for.
Jeff came back a different person. Upon hearing some of the things Jeff experienced and the way he responded to them, I was overcome with peace, a peace that only comes from God. I still didn’t know what that meant for me, how I would be involved, how often we would go to Haiti, how I would continue in my position at the church overseeing the Early Childhood department and how our kids would be involved. I would have liked to have seen the road map at that time, but God doesn’t work like that.
A few months later, I felt God calling me out of my job and ministry to young children at our church. As I left there, I really began searching God for my purpose and place in the ministry we would do in Haiti. I then began preparing for my first trip to Haiti to help run our VBS program and to meet the kids at the Good Samaritan Orphanage.
I saw so many heart breaking things while I was there, but the few that really impacted me were the living conditions and homelessness of so many, the desperation of young mothers trying to take care of their babies or wanting to give them up just to have a better life, but most importantly, I saw the Christians there just worshipping God with all they had and I saw a faith in them that we don’t see here in America very often. As I returned to our life in America, I was just heartbroken for so many and again cried out to God to find my place in this. What difference could I possibly make?
By January of 2009 I was already back to Haiti twice. Each time coming home felt a lot less like “Coming Home”. Being in the construction business, my partner and I took most of the winter off. It was during that time that myself, Deb, and two of our friends started listening to sermons (through podcasts) and reading books from a number of Pastors who’s churches seemed to be very outwardly focused. One particular Pastor really challenged me to get alone with the Bible and read it like never before. As I did, I was amazed how much Jesus and His teachings grabbed me and opened my heart to the Holy Spirit. What I always strived for didn’t seem to matter anymore. I prayed that God would give me His eyes, His understanding, His compassion, His love, and His desire for my life.
In April Deb and I took a team of seven others down to Haiti for a short term mission trip and to spend time with their sponsor child. While we were there we got the privilege of rescuing a child off the streets whose parents were killed and was sleeping behind a garage on the concrete. We helped give him a place to live and an education by getting him placed in our orphanage. I don’t know if there was any other time in my life that I was more of a reflection of Jesus than in that moment. It was then that the idea of moving to Haiti became very real.
Upon returning to America I went into planning mode of how “I” was going to make this happen. Even though my intentions were good, I was still being dependent on myself for the outcome. It was like I was trying to write a book and just treating Jesus as one of the supporting characters.
For me, our trip to Haiti in April was God showing me the burden I had for kids living on the street or in abusive slavery situations, and again I saw young mothers trying to give their babies away because of this cycle of poverty and lack of education, and for young adults just trying to make it into a world where there is so little opportunity for education/training and even with training, so little opportunity for earning a living just to provide a home and food.
I saw God at work through several people while we were rescuing little Richard from the streets through details unfolding right in front of us. God revealed to me that it wasn’t just about what I was able to do to help or what I planned, but what I trusted Him to do through me and others to make a difference a little at a time.
As we returned home this time, the “uncomfortable” feeling resurfaced again. Jeff and I knew we were living too comfortably. I could hear God saying “I have given you all of these material blessings. Now what will you do with them? Keep them for yourselves or give them up for Me and those in need?”
As July was approaching we were preparing to go back to Haiti for another nine days. Two weeks before we were going to leave, I felt that God was prompting me to fast for seven days. I’ve never fasted for more than a day, (which by the way was twenty years ago when I was in Youth Group and we had a pizza party afterwards) so leading up to it I wasn’t really sure how it was going to go but felt it was something I needed to do. Through it, God revealed a lot to me. Here is my Journal entry from day seven.
Wednesday, July 1st 2009 (day seven)
“Well in an hour and a half my fast is over. I’m not really sure how I feel about it ending. Today I felt strong, alert, energetic, and not at all hungry. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me that He is ALL I need. I’ve been seeking clarity of how to handle this vision that God has given me. I think that God has given me everything we have to see if I’m willing to give it ALL back and be completely dependent on Him. Is that it? Is that why I’m not feeling weak, discouraged, and desperate? I should be but I’m not. I’ve not eaten a thing, nothing at all for seven days and I feel great. I’ve worked hard all week, and I feel completely fine.”
Maybe God is ALL I need. If He wants it all back, He can have it. It was His to begin with. I’m ashamed that it’s taken me this long to realize it’s not about me and my own capabilities but it’s about recognizing that the Holy Spirit dwells within me. My job is to unleash Its power to help further the Kingdom of God and be a reflection of Christ to this broken world.
Lord my prayer is to be that reflection of you, please make your desires for my life be my own.
Amen.
So as I sit here writing to you, that is precisely what I’m trying to do. Stop being the author of my story and writing Jesus in when it’s convenient for me. Stop relying on my own strength and be completely dependent on God. And stop just feeling love and compassion for others and make it my mission.
As I began to think about our next scheduled trip to Haiti, I felt God nudging me to fast. I committed 1 day a week for 5 weeks to fast and really seek to follow Jesus. Through prayer and reading scripture, I really began seeing Jesus’ heart for the poor and needy. My desire to follow Christ and love as He loved became evident through this time. I want to step outside of myself and my desires to share Christ’s love with others. I am ready to “step out of my boat” and “walk on water”. As I wrote my prayer on June 17, 2009, I committed everything to Christ.
My prayer reads:
“While on one hand, I am scared, intimidated, and anxious about going to Haiti, on the other hand, I have a sense of peace, home, and trust in you God. I give up all we have to follow you Jesus…even if it is to Haiti. The song “It is well with my soul” comes to mind. Jesus, everything I have, it is yours. Everything I love, it is yours. Everything I am, it is yours. Help me to remain faithful to this. Amen”
While our journey has been somewhat separate and a bit different, God has brought us to the same place. We are in the process of selling our home and the possessions we don’t need and moving with our three children to Haiti. We expect that the Haitian people will bless us immensely as we serve them and share the love of Christ with them. This decision was made not without some fear and anxiety, but in boldness and confidence that its success is not dependent on us but the immeasurable power of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
By Jeff and Deb Denlinger
Being “uncomfortable” is a quote I have heard over and over again this past year. Jeff and I have been listening to a variety of sermons and pastors and the theme of God not wanting us to be comfortable kept resurfacing. It makes sense now why I was feeling uncomfortable when for the first two years (2005 and 2006) we lived in our brand new house (the garage is literally the size of the main living area of our last house), we hosted a Christmas party for all of our friends and I felt “uncomfortable”. We spent a bunch of money and time and it left me feeling somewhat empty and I can remember asking myself “what is this for? Our friends aren’t in need and we could have done something else with that money and time”. Unbeknownst to me this was the beginning of a journey of transformation. Over the course of the next two years I was reading the book “If you want to walk on Water, You’ve got to Get Out of the Boat” by John Ortberg. I felt this stirring in me that was inexplicable. I would tell Jeff and a few of my close friends that I knew God was preparing me for something big and many times I would hear myself saying “I just don’t know if what I’m doing here is enough, it isn’t making enough of a difference in people’s lives or for God’s kingdom”. I began telling God that I was ready to step out of my boat, but I didn’t know what water I was stepping onto. I thought I was ready. God knew I wasn’t. I continued on in prayer seeking what God was leading us to do.
In June of 2008 I had the privilege of taking a short term mission trip to the country of Haiti. I had no idea how my life was about to change when I stepped off of the plane into a world where physical impoverishment is prevalent and spiritual dependence is real. My inward thinking was about to be challenged, my small world was about to be enlarged, my eyes were about to be opened, and my heart was going to feel love and compassion like never before.
I went on this trip to help fix a roof of a school that educates over 400 kids. While we were there we visited and spent a large part of our free time with an orphanage called Good Samaritan. By the end of the week God gave me a glimpse of the love and compassion He has for these thirty special children. I had the desire to do whatever I could to help them reach their full potential in Christ.
Myself and four other guys came home and started a partnership with Good Samaritan. Within six weeks we had almost all of the kids sponsored with twenty two additional families. I took great pleasure in knowing that I was a part of getting thirty kids in Haiti fed everyday and giving them an opportunity to get an education, not realizing at the time what God really had planned for me and my family.
As Jeff prepared to go on his first trip to Haiti, I was searching God. Shouldn’t I be the one going? After all, every trip our church has taken to Haiti has been ministering to children and that is my area of gifting. Jeff had no experience with young kids other than our own nor did he feel comfortable with them. No, God said no, you should not go. I stayed behind, but knew that when Jeff returned, we would know if this was what God had been nudging us for.
Jeff came back a different person. Upon hearing some of the things Jeff experienced and the way he responded to them, I was overcome with peace, a peace that only comes from God. I still didn’t know what that meant for me, how I would be involved, how often we would go to Haiti, how I would continue in my position at the church overseeing the Early Childhood department and how our kids would be involved. I would have liked to have seen the road map at that time, but God doesn’t work like that.
A few months later, I felt God calling me out of my job and ministry to young children at our church. As I left there, I really began searching God for my purpose and place in the ministry we would do in Haiti. I then began preparing for my first trip to Haiti to help run our VBS program and to meet the kids at the Good Samaritan Orphanage.
I saw so many heart breaking things while I was there, but the few that really impacted me were the living conditions and homelessness of so many, the desperation of young mothers trying to take care of their babies or wanting to give them up just to have a better life, but most importantly, I saw the Christians there just worshipping God with all they had and I saw a faith in them that we don’t see here in America very often. As I returned to our life in America, I was just heartbroken for so many and again cried out to God to find my place in this. What difference could I possibly make?
By January of 2009 I was already back to Haiti twice. Each time coming home felt a lot less like “Coming Home”. Being in the construction business, my partner and I took most of the winter off. It was during that time that myself, Deb, and two of our friends started listening to sermons (through podcasts) and reading books from a number of Pastors who’s churches seemed to be very outwardly focused. One particular Pastor really challenged me to get alone with the Bible and read it like never before. As I did, I was amazed how much Jesus and His teachings grabbed me and opened my heart to the Holy Spirit. What I always strived for didn’t seem to matter anymore. I prayed that God would give me His eyes, His understanding, His compassion, His love, and His desire for my life.
In April Deb and I took a team of seven others down to Haiti for a short term mission trip and to spend time with their sponsor child. While we were there we got the privilege of rescuing a child off the streets whose parents were killed and was sleeping behind a garage on the concrete. We helped give him a place to live and an education by getting him placed in our orphanage. I don’t know if there was any other time in my life that I was more of a reflection of Jesus than in that moment. It was then that the idea of moving to Haiti became very real.
Upon returning to America I went into planning mode of how “I” was going to make this happen. Even though my intentions were good, I was still being dependent on myself for the outcome. It was like I was trying to write a book and just treating Jesus as one of the supporting characters.
For me, our trip to Haiti in April was God showing me the burden I had for kids living on the street or in abusive slavery situations, and again I saw young mothers trying to give their babies away because of this cycle of poverty and lack of education, and for young adults just trying to make it into a world where there is so little opportunity for education/training and even with training, so little opportunity for earning a living just to provide a home and food.
I saw God at work through several people while we were rescuing little Richard from the streets through details unfolding right in front of us. God revealed to me that it wasn’t just about what I was able to do to help or what I planned, but what I trusted Him to do through me and others to make a difference a little at a time.
As we returned home this time, the “uncomfortable” feeling resurfaced again. Jeff and I knew we were living too comfortably. I could hear God saying “I have given you all of these material blessings. Now what will you do with them? Keep them for yourselves or give them up for Me and those in need?”
As July was approaching we were preparing to go back to Haiti for another nine days. Two weeks before we were going to leave, I felt that God was prompting me to fast for seven days. I’ve never fasted for more than a day, (which by the way was twenty years ago when I was in Youth Group and we had a pizza party afterwards) so leading up to it I wasn’t really sure how it was going to go but felt it was something I needed to do. Through it, God revealed a lot to me. Here is my Journal entry from day seven.
Wednesday, July 1st 2009 (day seven)
“Well in an hour and a half my fast is over. I’m not really sure how I feel about it ending. Today I felt strong, alert, energetic, and not at all hungry. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me that He is ALL I need. I’ve been seeking clarity of how to handle this vision that God has given me. I think that God has given me everything we have to see if I’m willing to give it ALL back and be completely dependent on Him. Is that it? Is that why I’m not feeling weak, discouraged, and desperate? I should be but I’m not. I’ve not eaten a thing, nothing at all for seven days and I feel great. I’ve worked hard all week, and I feel completely fine.”
Maybe God is ALL I need. If He wants it all back, He can have it. It was His to begin with. I’m ashamed that it’s taken me this long to realize it’s not about me and my own capabilities but it’s about recognizing that the Holy Spirit dwells within me. My job is to unleash Its power to help further the Kingdom of God and be a reflection of Christ to this broken world.
Lord my prayer is to be that reflection of you, please make your desires for my life be my own.
Amen.
So as I sit here writing to you, that is precisely what I’m trying to do. Stop being the author of my story and writing Jesus in when it’s convenient for me. Stop relying on my own strength and be completely dependent on God. And stop just feeling love and compassion for others and make it my mission.
As I began to think about our next scheduled trip to Haiti, I felt God nudging me to fast. I committed 1 day a week for 5 weeks to fast and really seek to follow Jesus. Through prayer and reading scripture, I really began seeing Jesus’ heart for the poor and needy. My desire to follow Christ and love as He loved became evident through this time. I want to step outside of myself and my desires to share Christ’s love with others. I am ready to “step out of my boat” and “walk on water”. As I wrote my prayer on June 17, 2009, I committed everything to Christ.
My prayer reads:
“While on one hand, I am scared, intimidated, and anxious about going to Haiti, on the other hand, I have a sense of peace, home, and trust in you God. I give up all we have to follow you Jesus…even if it is to Haiti. The song “It is well with my soul” comes to mind. Jesus, everything I have, it is yours. Everything I love, it is yours. Everything I am, it is yours. Help me to remain faithful to this. Amen”
While our journey has been somewhat separate and a bit different, God has brought us to the same place. We are in the process of selling our home and the possessions we don’t need and moving with our three children to Haiti. We expect that the Haitian people will bless us immensely as we serve them and share the love of Christ with them. This decision was made not without some fear and anxiety, but in boldness and confidence that its success is not dependent on us but the immeasurable power of The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.
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