Sometimes in life, we get stuck. We get stuck in the same job, same routine, same lack of doing the things we swear we will get to. Why is that? Why is it so difficult to move forward sometimes?
For me, a lot of times, its fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of judgement and criticism (trust me, I have had my fill of both in the last 8 years). Fear of not being qualified or capable. Just fear. Something I have tried to overcome and maybe at times have conquered but can't completely seem to kick. I'm sure there are many bible verses and songs that can be thrown at me telling me not to fear and to just trust. I have seen God do amazing things when I am able to trust Him in my fear. Yet, it resurfaces.
We challenged our teams that came to Haiti to not only serve while in Haiti but to allow that time to open their eyes, minds, and hearts to the dream God had for their lives. We believe everyone was created with a gift to share with the world and it is our desire for people to discover that gift and be open to how it can be shared with others. It really was through encouraging teams to seek this for themselves that I began to discover my gifts more and really be open to allowing God to bring my gifts and the things I am passionate about together. In 2012, before we even moved back from Haiti, I began to think through; what if horses and at risk kids & teens could do something together.
What if...
My husband being the visionary that he is took these initial ideas and has been awesome in creating buildings and space for this to happen. I have to admit though, fear has crept in. It sometimes just paralyzes me to the point of being stuck. "What if I don't know enough? What if I'm not prepared? What if I fail? What if my experience isn't enough?" These are the thoughts that sometimes make it easy to make excuses to stay where I am, on the safety of the shore.
Pastor, speaker, author, Erwin McManus in his book, The Last Arrow, challenges people to leave nothing undone in this life, to live without fear and regret. Erwin has put a challenge out to be battle ready and to never surrender or settle.
So here we are 5 years later on this amazing property we have been so blessed with. We have done a ton of work and we still have a ton to do. But, had we started with an established property or a blank slate, it wouldn't be representative of the brokenness and rebuilding that we know we will journey through with people of all walks of life if we allow God to use our gifts and offer them to Him, for His glory. Its up to me to not allow fear and doubt to keep me where I am, but to lay it all out there and step off the safety of the shore. I want to leave this life with no regrets. I want to leave nothing undone.
Tuesday, October 17, 2017
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Becoming
BECOME...
It has been almost 3 years since I've written here.
We went from sharing so much of our lives pre-Haiti and during our 3 years living in Haiti to keeping things pretty quietly to ourselves. One would have thought transition to living in a third world country to be very difficult and it was, but nothing in comparison to the transition back to first world living. We have found that processing this part of our lives better to keep to sharing with very few. This transition isn't something that is easy to explain, but we have discovered that others who have come back from international work experience the same things, so there is a norm within a world of confusion and question.
At the end of our time living in Haiti, I can remember saying to Max that our years in Haiti were mostly for learning. We learned so much about ourselves, faith, culture, people, trust, and more. So much of what we shared here on this blog while we were in Haiti full time was what we were experiencing and learning, but we found it difficult to put into words what we were experiencing and learning on our return.
While in Haiti, we really encouraged those coming to serve with us that they would AWAKEN or BECOME who God desired them to be and to experience the dream God had for each of them. What we didn't realize at the time was that we were also BECOMING.
In looking back, I discovered that before we left for Haiti, Jeff asked our pastor to pray for us as a family to BECOME...BECOME the people that God created us to be, BECOME the people that fulfill the dream that He has for each of our lives. Jeff wrote a blog post about it here: Become
When we moved back from Haiti, we were left with all we had learned, lived, and experienced and translating that into relearning how to live in the U.S. ~ "how do we live differently based on all we brought back with us?" was a question we continued to ask ourselves over and over.
In some ways, we do live differently now than we did before living in Haiti. We see things through a new set of lenses. We live with different priorities. We make decisions differently. But we have not arrived.
One thing is certain, we were BECOMING while in Haiti, but we continued to learn and BECOME after our return. Even now we are still BECOMING. We are closer, but we are still BECOMING the people that God created us to be. Closer but still BECOMING people that desire to fulfill the dream that he has for each of our lives.
While we are still very involved with Haiti and AWAKENHAITI, God is preparing us to add new adventures to take us one step closer to the dream he has for us. One step closer to BECOMING.
As Jeff ended his blog post, this prayer remains today:
"My prayer for myself, my family, and you is that we all fulfill the dream God has for our lives, that we play our part in His story and do our best to keep adding people to it."
It has been almost 3 years since I've written here.
We went from sharing so much of our lives pre-Haiti and during our 3 years living in Haiti to keeping things pretty quietly to ourselves. One would have thought transition to living in a third world country to be very difficult and it was, but nothing in comparison to the transition back to first world living. We have found that processing this part of our lives better to keep to sharing with very few. This transition isn't something that is easy to explain, but we have discovered that others who have come back from international work experience the same things, so there is a norm within a world of confusion and question.
At the end of our time living in Haiti, I can remember saying to Max that our years in Haiti were mostly for learning. We learned so much about ourselves, faith, culture, people, trust, and more. So much of what we shared here on this blog while we were in Haiti full time was what we were experiencing and learning, but we found it difficult to put into words what we were experiencing and learning on our return.
While in Haiti, we really encouraged those coming to serve with us that they would AWAKEN or BECOME who God desired them to be and to experience the dream God had for each of them. What we didn't realize at the time was that we were also BECOMING.
In looking back, I discovered that before we left for Haiti, Jeff asked our pastor to pray for us as a family to BECOME...BECOME the people that God created us to be, BECOME the people that fulfill the dream that He has for each of our lives. Jeff wrote a blog post about it here: Become
When we moved back from Haiti, we were left with all we had learned, lived, and experienced and translating that into relearning how to live in the U.S. ~ "how do we live differently based on all we brought back with us?" was a question we continued to ask ourselves over and over.
In some ways, we do live differently now than we did before living in Haiti. We see things through a new set of lenses. We live with different priorities. We make decisions differently. But we have not arrived.
One thing is certain, we were BECOMING while in Haiti, but we continued to learn and BECOME after our return. Even now we are still BECOMING. We are closer, but we are still BECOMING the people that God created us to be. Closer but still BECOMING people that desire to fulfill the dream that he has for each of our lives.
While we are still very involved with Haiti and AWAKENHAITI, God is preparing us to add new adventures to take us one step closer to the dream he has for us. One step closer to BECOMING.
As Jeff ended his blog post, this prayer remains today:
"My prayer for myself, my family, and you is that we all fulfill the dream God has for our lives, that we play our part in His story and do our best to keep adding people to it."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)