Back to Haiti

      As we begin to mentally and emotionally prepare to return to Haiti on Thursday, we realize just how much we have to be thankful for!  Normally when we return to Pennsylvania, it is for such a short period of time.  We are rushed to get all the meetings, visits, and kids activities in that we can, we barely turn around and we're back on a plane for Haiti again.  We normally are so rushed, we miss experiencing the beauty that is all around us right here in our home town.  The beauty that we had taken for granted for so many years.
     This extended time here has given us opportunity to see and experience this place in a new way.  The natural beauty of fall, running, taking time on the Appalachian trail.  Building new friendships and enjoying time with those we've been friends with for years.  Sharing life with family.  Listening to God.  Celebrating a ministry that God has orchestrated and grown.   All these things we are so thankful for.  We cherish these times!
     As we return to Haiti,  we anticipate a year of excitement.  A year of many unknowns.  A year of challenges.  A year of growth.  A year of learning.  A year of God.
     We ask for your prayer as we transition back in Haiti and as we immediately face a ton of work while feeling the separation from our family and friends.  We ask you to pray for our children as they also continue to sacrifice what is fun, easy, and comfortable to be part of this journey.  It's hard.  They are so isolated.  But God has asked us to trust Him with them.  Please pray for their hearts and their spirits.

     Thank you to those who have taken time to encourage us, reach out to us, share a meal with us, pray for us, and care for us!

~Deb

Medical Container

Last Friday, a group of volunteers gathered together in Harrisburg and loaded furniture, medical equipment, and supplies into a sea container and sent it off.  Every inch of the container was packed full of supplies that will bless the community of Canaan.  These supplies will be a great start to equipping the clinic and therefore providing medical care and employment.  Thank you to Hamilton Health Center for the donations!  And thank you to the volunteers who helped make this happen!

Hope to see you this Sunday!

Today's reminder

Some days, in fact many days we as parents question what we are doing in taking our kids to Haiti.  Education isn't what I think it should be.  They don't have extracurricular activities.  Their health is sometimes at stake.  Their safety is sometimes at stake.  They are socially isolated, in fact, they don't have friends.  Today was one of those days... but as God promised when we were making the decision to go to Haiti, he knows what is best and what is important for this time.   He used Kylie to remind me today.

Bible class assignment:   Write about an experience you had and how God helped you

     God helped me understand who he is and what he does when I moved to Haiti.  It’s been such an experience to connect with everyone and learn their language and culture.  These people each have amazing talents and I know I could never do them.  And I’m so glad I got to have such amazing experiences and memories.  And now people from America too can not only see it but, meet God as well as I have.

     We have been going to an amazing tent city and it is amazing how they can help each other with some of their conditions and their faith is just unbelievable.  I’ve never been to a place that is so open and the hope that is there is out of control.  We have been building houses, a church and school, and medical center. 

     We also help with an orphanage and there are kids from four to twenty-two years old.  The kids are so much fun.  There are both boys and girls.  They each have an outstanding story about their life.  This experience has been amazing for me.  

      ~Kylie Denlinger age 10

The best so far

    I did an interview with a journalist from the local newspaper yesterday and one of the questions she asked was "what have been the best experiences in Haiti so far?"
     I didn't have to think long to give her my answer.    While I love holding little children, I love hanging out with the kids at Good Sam., I love working in the medical clinic...my most memorable times have been simply sitting with people we, in our American minds would consider to be poor.  My favorite times have been sharing life, faith, and prayer.

     Last week, I had one of these precious visits...

     Sitting on a half broken bench just outside a one-room wooden shelter Nadege calls home, we quickly dove into conversation about an ongoing tooth problem she had recently taken care of, which then led to further conversation about pain, illness, eventually suffering, and faith.
    This woman who shares the same age as myself has lived a hard life full of struggle and suffering I have never known.
     On a previous visit, Nadege shared two instances of God miraculously healing her physically.  This summer, I believe God healed something in her that hadn't even been diagnosed yet, making it three times.  On this particular summer visit, she asked for prayer for healing in her legs.
     You see, Nadege has had a pinched nerve for years.  This untreated pinched nerve has since led to muscle deterioration.  Slowly over a year and a half ago, starting with a limp the pinched nerve began to cripple her.  The muscles in one of her legs were loosing strength.  Last winter it moved to her mid-section affecting her bladder; giving her infection after infection.  In the spring of 2012, the muscles in her opposite leg began to deteriorate as well leaving her walking with a shuffle, unable to lift her feet to use stairs well and unable to squat to bath and dress little Jenny (3 years old) and fully take care of herself.  She also is unable to work as she desires to be able to help provide for her family because of lack of opportunity in their new community and because of her physical condition.  She wants physical healing so she can work again and take care of herself and her family.   She knows God will heal her again.
     In last week's visit, Nadege was curious to know how her friend from America was doing.  She met this friend in June 2011 who was struggling with the loss of a son.  The day they met, she brought encouragement to this new found friend with a similar story of loss.  Out of concern now for this friend still struggling today, Nadege began sharing with me how putting trust and faith in God has gotten her to a place of joy again even in her current suffering.
     After preaching me a sermon on job, Nadege began reliving the day of January 12, 2010.  The day an earthquake took her child, then strengthened her faith and character.  When the earthquake started, Nadege got Jenny out of the house just a moment before the neighboring building fell on top of their home, crumbling both buildings.  At the time, her two sons were in school.  Her 10 year old son was in a class room on the top level of a large school building and they arrived at the school to find it had collapsed with him still inside.  Her older son, Ricardo made it out.  The two boys had been living with their grandmother in order to help ends meet.  She hadn't seen them in 3 months.  The son that died, she hadn't seen for 3 months.  This she carries with her.  While she wishes it were different, she doesn't carry guilt, that is not from God.
     Nadege continued sharing with me that she could not stay in this state of anger, bitterness, regret, and sorrow.  God wanted her to cling to Him, trust him, and see what she still has.  To see what wasn't lost.  To find joy in His promises.
Nadege has found the strength to do these things that seem impossible in the midst of suffering.  In all of her loss, suffering, physical pain, and financial poverty; she has found joy.
     This is the message Nadege sends to us...
          "Dear brothers and sisters, when trouble comes your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."     ~James 1:2-4

    This woman who has lived way beyond her years, this woman our society would consider poor,  is one of the richest people I know.  It's sitting with her, sharing life, faith, and prayer.  These are my best experiences.

shared thoughts

Jeff and I spent the morning today in Canaan and I have some cool things to share, however,  I just read a blog post by a friend who has been ministering to children in Carlisle(our hometown) for years that I would love for you to read.
One of the things we share and encourage teams coming to Haiti in, is that we don't want them to just serve in Haiti once a year (or for some a few times), but that going back to their own communities and seeking ways to allow God to use them in their own community is even bigger.  We want people coming to serve with us but we really love seeing people serving others right where they are day in and day out.
Karen does this so well!

Karen, I admire your perseverance and the way you have loved when it gets messy and hard!
Please read Karens blog post:  Hot Chocolate, Bread, and the Bible

http://karenhelmuth.blogspot.com/?spref=fb

Sandy in Haiti

Sandy causes major damage in an already poverty stricken area.  This is an area we travel through going to Canaan.  Please pray for the people here and many others in similar conditions.  The rain continues to fall this afternoon.

close to the airport in Port-au-Prince

Rain, Rain go away!

     For us under normal circumstances, we would welcome two days of clouds, nice breezes, rain, and lower temperatures.  75 degrees suddenly feels kind of cold.  And while we do welcome the break from the intense Haiti heat and the weather forcing us to stay home and not do our normal work, it's not that easy for many here.
     When we stand on our front balcony and  see how much rain water has gathered in the street below, it's nothing in comparison to most areas in Haiti.  We happen to sit in a very safe area...safe in many regards.  This is one of them, flooding doesn't really happen here.
     Everyone knows this place can't take another hit.  This country can't take the floods and mudslides that come with a steady two-day rain.  It can't take the damage caused by the raging rivers overflowing.  Families  can't stay in their shacks that are threatened to be carried away.  For those areas affected in this way, we pray for relief.
     But, what people sometimes don't know is how steady rains affect the lives of many in a more widespread way.  When it rains hard or for longer period of time here, things shut down.  Businesses and schools close.  Markets are forced to close.  All the family run street stands close.  Tap-taps don't run; they don't need to, no one is going anywhere.  What this all means is that no one is earning money in a society where much of the population lives day to day.  They count on income day to day to feed their families.

     Please pray for this country.  For the sun to return.  For the rain to let up.  For the busyness of Haitian life and market places to be up and running for the sake of the families just trying to make it day in and day out.

Living in Haiti sometimes can feel like living in Bible times.  The way in which many Haitians live and the operations of the church are both really great examples of that.  Right now being in a developed country though, has taken me back to the lives of a few men who by our standards have made the "hall of faith", which has made me mentally try to return to their time.  Not in the sense of what they accomplished, but rather, how they just tried their best to follow God, listening each day to where in the world He wanted them for that day for that purpose.  For Moses, Abraham, and even Paul their stories are full of questioning, doubting, faith, leadership, and many difficulties.
     To me the events of the last two weeks don't determine the answers to my questions...where is it you really want us?  for how long?  for what purpose?  We're not waiting for answers from officials, we're waiting for answers from God.  We're trying to cling each day to Him.  Whatever that means for today, whatever that means for tomorrow.
     Through the past week of wrapping my mind and emotions around the circumstances we experienced so closely, then being thrown unexpectedly from a third world country into one so developed as this one, these words have spoken truth to me:
   
 "The lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." ~Deuteronomy 31:8

     "Be willing to follow wherever I lead.  Follow Me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace.  Though you don't know what lies ahead, I know and that is enough!  Some of My richest blessings are just around the bend:  out of sight, but nonetheless very real.  To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith-not by sight.  This doesn't mean closing your eyes to what is all around you.  It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible Shepherd of your soul.
     Sometimes I lead you up a high mountain with only My hand to support you.  The higher you climb, the more spectacular the view becomes; also, the more keenly you sense your separation from the world with all its problems.  This frees you to experience exuberantly the joyous reality of My presence.  Give yourself fully to these Glory-moments, awash in dazzling light.  I will eventually lead you down the mountain, back into community with others.  Let My light continue to shine within you as you walk among people again."
     ~Jesus Calling  by Sarah Young


Thank you for your prayers!

~Deb

OC MD here we come!

Monday, September 3rd marked the first day of school for the Denlinger children, The Tabarre Tundras.  Yes, it was a holiday and as Colton put it, "only our family would start school on a holiday".  There are perks to living in Haiti and doing school online...when a hurricane hits, there's no internet for 5 days therefore, school starts a week late, giving children an extra week of summer vacation.  The perk I also see is that we can start school  whenever we want, holiday or not.  The other perk is that we can go to school for 3 days, then leave the country for two weeks on a family vacation and there is no school work to make up!
So, after 3 hard days (it's always hard to start this routine after being off for the summer no matter where in the world you are) we are packing our bags and "we're leaving on a jet plane..." off to Carlisle for two days for a crucial meeting for medical equipment and some quick visits then we're off to the beach for some good quality family time!
We are looking forward to the ocean WITH waves, the boardwalk, go carts, walks in the park, crabbing, boardwalk fries, sweatshirts, soft serve ice cream,...  you know all things that are important!


So here are our hard working students who can't wait to get on the plane tomorrow...and their teachers

Kylie- 5th grade

Brooke-3rd grade

Miss Peifer- 3rd Grade teacher

Mrs. Beachy - 5th grade teacher

Mrs. Denlinger - Principal

Colton - 9th grade

"Made in China"

Blogs are an interesting concept to me.  It gives normal people like me a venue to share my thoughts and opinions to everyone on the planet that has access to a computer.  Frankly, that’s a little scary.   I think blogs can be a good thing if the reader is able to put it in the context the writer intended it to be.  That brings me to my disclosure.  Our blog posts are based on our experiences, opinions, and hopefully some inspired insights.  We, especially me, are certainly not experts on the subjects we write about, but through time and experience of walking through this journey God calls life, we sometimes feel prompted to share some of those thoughts with those that choose to read them.  Here are some of mine of late. J

There are a number of things here in Haiti that can be frustrating to me at times.  Many of you that have come to Haiti and spent any time with me in the truck know that one of them is traffic.  There are days that the traffic can consume you to the point that just your thoughts cause you to have to repent.  Part of the frustration is that most of the time, there is no explanation for it.  It is what it is.

Recently something else has been getting to me.  It is a simple label that states “Made in China”.   My father always said “you get what you pay for” and as usual he is right.  I’m not saying that all things that come from China are not made well but there definitely seems to be a business concept that is being carried out with certain lines of products that they make. The concept of making things that look nice, new and shiny on the shelf at the hardware store or in the show room of a dealership with a price tag that is a quarter of the other comparable products have proven to be very profitable for the country of China, especially from developing countries like Haiti.

An example of this is my motorcycle.  As I said earlier, traffic is horrific here at times and my gracious wife knows how hard it can be for me so she allowed me to get a motorcycle to help ease that frustration.  I have been riding motorcycles all my life.  So I was excited for the opportunity to get one again.  I went to look at some different kinds and came to find that a Honda was going to cost about $6000 and I was going to have to order it, which was going to take weeks, maybe even months to get in.  Then I saw, right down the street, a Sukida dealership.  Sukida is a Chinese brand of motorcycle that I could get right off the show room floor, with the same size engine, and ride it home for $1600.  It looked appealing to me and the price was right so I went ahead and got it.  I felt so good about it, and loved the cost so much that I told others how great it was and even went in with Drew and bought another one for him to use over the summer and then for Colton to have for his own once Drew leaves.  The first month or so they were great.  I took a couple of long rides with friends and was able to ride to our job sites without having to sit in traffic for hours.  Then even though we were maintaining them well and not riding them very hard (except for riding wheelies for the Haitian kids when they askJ) the bikes slowly started to prove my father right once again.  First my chain guard just fell off.  Then my pipe guard fell off.  Then the electric starter stopped working.  Then my kick starter broke.  It seemed like every time I ride it I am waiting to see what is going to break next.  Unfortunately, I have lost confidence in it.  I am not confident to go on long rides anymore.  I guess I could get mad at the salesmen, the dealership, or the web-site that made this bike look so appealing while not disclosing the real truth about their product.  The truth is that you are getting what you are paying for.  It looks nice, the price is right, but it’s probably not going to last very long, especially if you ride it hard and need it to go off the smoothness of the paved road. And if they were going to be really honest, they would tell you that is part of the business concept, make it look nice from the outside, make it affordable to customer, and then when it breaks we’ll be able to sell them the parts to fix what they bought or better yet they’ll be back to buy another one and then another one and then maybe even another one.  Sukida is banking on me never making the sacrifice of buying a Honda and they are making millions and trillions on that bet, because there are not too many Hondas on the streets here in Haiti.

One of the things that I’ve learned is that God can use my own frustrations to teach me things and challenge me in new and sometimes painful ways.  For some time now, I have been convicted of how sometimes we as Christians portray the Gospel.  Sometimes it’s almost like we have to defend God and His ways to get people to “convert” to our faith.  I was challenged by this concept of, am I selling a gospel that is “Made in China”?  Am I trying to sell a cheap version of the gospel to make it more appealing to people and making it a price that they are willing to spend to have it, knowing all along that the version that I am selling is not going to last? Knowing that gospel is not going to stand up to the trials and struggles that people are going to face.  It may be a gospel that survives the smooth roads, but what happens to that gospel when the road takes a detour and the road gets bumpy and has ruts and other obstacles in its path.  How is that gospel I am selling going to hold up off-road? 

While, gospel is love, forgiveness, mercy, and unconditional grace, and Christ doing for us what we can’t do for ourselves by reconciling us to our creator,  it’s also about taking the blame for our sin to a God that is so Holy that He can’t even be in the presence of that sin.  It’s also about God’s son coming to this earth to serve and not be served.  Where He would accept sinners not reject them.  Where He would challenge the masses by telling them to put down their stones and examine their own lives while He provides forgiveness for the convicted and challenges them to change their ways for God’s ways. It’s about Christ stepping down from His thrown where He was being worshiped and the angels sang songs of glory to him to being vulnerable, spat on, whipped, tortured, lied about, questioned, rejected, laughed at, beaten, and ultimately crucified for you and for me.  It’s about us taking up our cross and not being an enemy of “The Cross”.    It’s about, whether you’re a soccer mom or a mass murderer, coming to an understanding of your own brokenness and believing that there is no other way than through the blood of Christ will bring salvation.  It’s about loving and serving others not because you have to check a box but because it’s why you exist.   The Gospel is about our lives proving that it exists.  The Gospel is about knowing that the person that you may despise the most may share a place right next to you in eternity.  It also may be about your physical circumstances changing for the worse and not the better.  It’s about setting your own desires aside and seeking after His desires.  It’s about living the dream that He has for life and setting yours aside.  It’s about playing our part in His story and not Him being a character in ours.   It’s excepting that God is in control and that He is sickness, healing, earthquakes, storms, rainbows, poverty, blessings, blindness, sight, death, and life.  He is the past, the present, and the future. He doesn’t need us to defend him and just needs us to trust Him.  Trusting to me is having faith in the unknown.  Trusting, without having to understand.

The problem is that when we don’t share the whole Gospel, and just tell the parts that are appealing to the audience we are in front of; we are selling the gospel instead of sharing it.  And by selling it we tend not to share the parts that will truly bring about change.  A Pastor friend of mine once said “How can a god that you can fashion, be big enough to really help you.”    We have a saying here in Haiti that goes, “The less you know the more you know”.   Which to me means; sometimes wisdom is acquired by accepting what you don’t need to know.

I guess that’s what I want to share with people when I talk about the gospel and what it means to follow and seek after God.  It is scary though.  I have friends that do it week in and week out.  Their churches are not as full as others. One of them, some weeks may only speak to 20 people, another may have to cut bulletins from their budget so they can make payroll, one is a director of a counseling center that counsels and  loves people that most Christians would find despicable. These men may not be as popular as others but they are some of the bravest Pastors and Christ followers I know.  The truth God speaks through their words and their lives changes people.  I am one of them.  They share the gospel, they don’t sell it.  They don’t spend half their time putting up disclaimers for it.  They’ve gained great wisdom by accepting and trusting the unknown by wrestling, questioning, and then humbling themselves to it.

Contrary to what some would say, there is nothing easy about the Gospel.  The Gospel is hard to grasp.  And while it is freely given, it comes with a cost.  But while the cost is great, there is no other way to experience true freedom.

The Gospel isn’t easy but nothing extraordinary ever is, and the true meaning behind the Gospel is nothing short of Extraordinary.

-Jeff      

more lessons learned

Funny that about 2 years before moving to Haiti, Jeff and I and some very close friends were having conversations about what it might be like to live communally.  These conversations started because of some sermons we had listened to.  A few of the sermons were challenging people to live selflessly, spend less on themselves in order to give more away to those who really needed it.  We even went so far as to look at different houses when we were walking neighborhoods together considering if two families could live in any of them.  Of the 4 of us, I was probably the most opposed to the thought of ever living communally.  Not because I wanted all that we had to be solely for us, but because I know myself and how I needed "my space" and how I liked our family to have "our time."
Funny because for two years, we have been living communally.  We moved to Haiti knowing we would live this way.  Funny how God takes our "I could nevers" and throws them back at us and teaches us to trust him.  It's those things we never think we have what it takes to do.  The things we could never see ourselves doing.  Not on our own strength anyway.
For two years on a rotating basis, we have lived with family, old friends, new friends, pastors, doctors, nurses, lawyers, electricians, contractors, retirees, stay-at-home moms, business men/women, students, and strangers.
Now we live full time with five 20something staff and all the others thrown in the mix often.  What I've come to learn is that yes, it can be tiring at times.  It's a lot of people to prepare meals for.  It's a lot of different personalities.  It costs a ton of money to feed all these people.  Filling two grocery carts on a regular basis gives reason for people to stare.  Going to church together requires that some show up with wind blown hair and dust filled teeth, eyes, and ears because we no longer fit everyone inside the vehicle.  
What I've also learned is that it's a lot of help.  So many hands get things done quickly.   It's more people to share beautiful Haiti mountains and sunsets with.  We can now play a real game of whiffle ball (four square could get crazy).  It brings more birthday party fun!  Saying goodnight to everyone takes me back to my childhood at the end of a Waltons episode.
Never thought I'd be living communally.  It's still kind of weird to me.   I thought I could never do it, but somehow, after throwing it back in my face, God has blessed this time!

Kylie's 10th birthday 

tonight's sunset from our rooftop

Emily

Many people who have come on teams to Haiti have been on home visits with me.  Most of those people have been deeply impacted by the experience we had in these families' homes.  I have been deeply changed because of what I have learned from the ladies I've made home visits to.  Over time though, I've allowed fear to in some ways hinder the work I didn't even know God was doing in the people we were visiting, in the team members that missed the opportunity, and even myself.  I go into these home visits not having a clue what to expect.  Not knowing what we will talk about.  Not knowing if I will be prepared for what is ahead. But normally, I leave there either having been touched deeply myself, having encouraged one who really needed it for the day, or hearing later in the day how it moved someone who was visiting with me.  There were times I felt God nudging me to visit someone, but fear kept me from it.  At times, I wasn't willing to risk being uncomfortable.

Emily and her husband Ludniere are a couple we met in the medical clinic in May of 2011.  He had fallen off a ladder while painting and spent several months recovering from a head injury.  That was our reason for beginning to visit them in their home.  Vanessa was taking pain medication to him and checking in, I was just checking in and offering to pray for them.
Upon our first visit, I found out that Emily had been at the church in December (2010); she was the woman Jeff and Pastor Nathan were there to pray with as she became a Christian.  It was in that visit too that Pastor Nathan led Ludniere through prayer to give his life to God.  Pastor Nathan also shared with me that this family living in a 6' x 6' tin shack with 3 children were among the most poor and needy in his church community.

I continued to visit month after month just checking in and offering prayer.  Emily always accepted, but I was trying to read her demeanor and what I was reading was that I was intruding and that she was just being polite in letting me pray for them.  My perception of these visits allowed me to convince myself that God really didn't ask me to go there and that it was better to not continue to visit.  The last time I had been there was October 2011.
In a conversation with Pastor Nathan in January, I found out Emily and Ludniere hadn't been to the church in a while and that in fact, their neighbors were reporting they think that the couple were practicing Voodoo again.  It was definitely better I didn't go visit.  They surely didn't want me there now and anyway, what do I know about witnessing to someone who is so tied to Voodoo, I don't understand it enough.  I  was not the right person for this.  I was not equipped for this.  Definitely better if I stay away...
In May and June, Emily came into our clinic.   I noticed she was expecting a baby, gave her a friendly greeting and left it at that.  It was safer and much easier.
 Part of me knew God was prompting me to visit her again, but I brushed it aside.
 I began thinking more and more of Emily and her sweet smiling little boy, her daughter who is mature beyond her years and the little baby girl who always sat playing in the dirt when we arrived.    In July, I decided it was time to make a visit.  I took a group of people  to visit Suzette that scorching July day planning to make the visit afterward.  I figured if I told the group ahead of time we were going to Emily's, I'd have to go, no chickening out, however, part of me hoped she wouldn't be home when we arrived.  The part of me that trusted God to provide me with all I needed was missing that day.
Emily was home and after some conversation we learned Emily and Ludniere now have 5 children (or at least 4 + 1 due any day) living in this tin shack.  It turns out her husband had a baby with someone else and he now lives with them.
I apologized for not visiting for so long.   I then asked her if it would be okay if I started visiting on a regular basis again?  She laughed and told me "yes, it wasn't okay that you stopped coming".
When I ran out of things to say, but knew there was something I needed to say, Junior stepped in to tell me to ask how her relationship with God was...DUH!
When I asked her, she couldn't look me in the eye.  She smiled and politely told me what she thought I wanted to hear.
After praying for her, I couldn't not say what I knew God wanted me to say (I don't think this is how Jesus would have said it, it would have come out a bit more eloquently.  "Emily, God sent me here today.  He wants you to turn to him, to seek him out and know him more.  And...I'll be back to visit you".
Not one of my finest moments.  Not one of my most insightful or convincing messages, but I showed up and God showed his faithfulness.  Hopefully by showing up again and again, Emily will begin to trust and hopefully as I show up and see God's faithfulness again and again, I will begin to trust more too.

Please pray for Emily and her family

Are you ordinary?

Not really sure what to say after the last post.  The one where my loving husband listed so many of the things I love and boasted about the things he loves about me.  There is no transition from that.  Other than to say that there really isn't anything special about me. To most, I am just ordinary.  To me, I'm just ordinary.   Thankfully my husband sees me otherwise.
I wonder how many people see themselves as just ordinary...
Our parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors tell us we are actually extraordinary, we can be extraordinary.  Then God tells us we are all equal.  He loves us all the same.  Doesn't that make us all kind of ordinary?  or all extraordinary?

"I used to think I had to be somebody important to accomplish things, but now I know Jesus uses ordinary people more."  ~Bob Groff, Love Does

The last few months, God has been grinding this thought into me.  He is showing me in little ways how he wants to use somebody as ordinary as me to do important things.

"I used to thing you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes." ~ Bob Groff, Love Does

In early May as Vanessa and I were doing a very small quiet clinic in Canaan, we had a young lady come in, maybe 19 years old.  She described every symptom of pregnancy, but claimed there was no way she could possibly be pregnant.  Vanessa asked if she would be willing to do a pregnancy test anyway just to rule it out..."yes."  As we gave her the positive result, someone in the quiet waiting room ran to find the aunt this mom to be had been living with for the past year since the death of her father.  The aunt unloaded all of the disgrace she brought to the family because "Christian people don't do this" and "the people in the church may think it was the uncle" since the young lady wouldn't give up the father's name.  Before I took her to meet with Pastor Nathan's wife, Olive to work through some of the initial emotions, Vanessa invited her to come back to the clinic this summer to get a check up and so we could give her vitamins.  When she returned last week, she told us her aunt has come along side her and is supporting, loving, and encouraging her which is absolutely beautiful.  But what's to become of this uneducated, unemployed mom who probably doesn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby or herself?
 In late May, I walked into the church in Canaan to speak with Pastor Nathan and found him counseling a young couple.  I politely interrupted and as I did so, the young women before me looked at me with not a speck of white in her eyes, but rather, blood.  I had to sit so I wouldn't pass out as Pastor Nathan proceeded to tell me about an incident that had taken place in their home just the day before.  This beautiful young lady had been tied to a chair and gagged and the only thing that stopped the husband from killing her was a neighbor who could hear him hitting her.  The uncontrollable rage the husband felt was due to a child she had before they were together.  A child he refused to love.  After filing a police report, she was reconsidering pressing charges so they could be counseled through it instead of him going to prison.  For us, in our naive American minds, we think how could she even reconsider this right?  Is that what you are thinking?  It's what I thought initially.  But what would any of us do if we were responsible taking care of 3 children with no opportunity to earn money without a husband around?   In June, I saw this same couple in the clinic.  She has a plan to leave him to go to family in the country side.  But when?  what until then? and what then?

 In our medical clinic a few weeks ago, I met with a young lady after she had seen the doctor.  She was very stoic, but the doctor thought she might need to talk.  She had been trying to have a baby for 3 years and was pregnant at the time, but had previously had 2 miscarriages.  That particular day in the clinic, she described symptoms that lead the doctor to believe she was getting ready to have yet another miscarriage.  Ummmm....I have not gone through this.  I have no idea how this young lady is feeling.  I can only guess.  As I talked to her and tried to encourage her, she finally broke and let herself feel the pain she was carrying.  In a country where so many children are not wanted or are mistreated.  This one young lady can't seem to have the baby she so desires.
In clinic last week, a young woman suspected she was pregnant and after we prescribed medication for her illness, she asked if we did pregnancy tests.  We do.  When we shared the positive news with her, she stopped smiling.  We told her we didn't want her taking the medication we had given her because it could be dangerous for the baby, to my dismay she wanted the medication because she already had two children and certainly didn't want one more to try to provide for.     After having to set my personal desire to plead with this mother to not end a life, a life that God created, I thought to myself "So what happened to birth control?  What happened with education on this matter?". I then began a short educational class, just she and I...where else was she going to learn it?

For me, yes, I saw that God used me, ordinary me because I said yes in several different circumstances.  He used me in little ways to love these women.  But really, he used them too.  Ordinary them to accomplish things in me.  To break my heart for something that not only breaks theirs but also breaks our father's heart too.  God used ordinary them so that I could see just a little deeper the burden God has for women and their well being here.  This deep burden I have for women; I keep thinking it's my passion, it's my burden therefore it will come in time when I have time to focus on it.  It will be the "second phase" .
But if God is using ordinary them to show ordinary me his broken heart for women, won't he use ordinary me to do something important when He wants?  Won't he do something important like provide women's health care, women's health education, and job opportunities for women through ordinary people like me, if only I say yes? 
My prayer is that if this part of the medical center is important to our God than he uses ordinary me and many other ordinary people who are willing to say yes!

So tell me about....

Right now I am reading a devotional called “Sacred Marriage” I haven’t really read enough of it to have an opinion of it yet, but I was taken back a little bit by the second chapter. 

In it, the author, who also holds seminars on marriage, states that when he sits down with a couple for the first time he always asked them: “So, tell me some things about each other.”  He has found that when he asked this question to an engaged couple they light up with enthusiasm as they start to describe all the things they are to each other.  They share how wonderful she is at doing this or how great he is at doing that.  He says that it is usually the only question that he has to ask, and the young couple in love takes it from there.

He goes on to say that he also asks the same exact question to couples that are already married.  To the author’s dismay, he normally gets a very different response from them.  He states that it is still the only question he has to ask, but the responses are more about what he or she is not instead of what they are.  He ends his thoughts with this quote:  “Where is the bridge that leads people to stop defining their spouse for what they are and start defining them for what they are not.  The sad answer, unfortunately, is marriage.” 

Well, that caused me to think about, if he asked me, what I would say about my wife.  After 20 years of marriage here would be my response to the question:

“SO, tell me about your wife?”

“Ok well,

§          She is my best friend.

§         She loves me like no one else can.

§        She is stunningly beautiful.

§        She loves chocolate.

§        She is the strong one that makes this all work.

§        She loves to watch the sunset.

§        She has three very lucky kids that get to call her mommy.

§        She brings out the best in me and in others.

§        She acts on her passions.

§        Sometimes I get a glance of her and feel paralyzed because I can’t take my eyes off of her.

§        Her compassion, love, and understanding for strangers is one way the Holy Spirit shines through her spirit.

§        She is confident without being prideful.

§        She honors me, even when I don’t deserve to be honored.

§        She loves to have her hand held.

§        She loves to read with her feet in the ocean.

§        She makes a really good friend.

§        While she can hold the attention of 30 three year olds, she is at her best with just one that needs a friend.

§        She can make a pair of jeans, a tank top, and flip flops, look like an evening cocktail dress with heels.

§        She is a compelling speaker.

§        She makes me better and challenges me to become more.

§        Sometimes she just can’t stop laughing.

§        She finds peace in God’s creation.

§        She loves get up early to sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and just be still.

§        She a farm girl at heart, and I love that.

§        She is what our girls want to be.

§        She is what I want for our son.

§        A wink from her makes my day.

§        She loves the sun and cherishes the rain.

§        She doesn’t just stand by me, she stands with me.

§        I know my day was ok when her eyes are the first and last thing I see.

And it’s one of the reasons I know how much God loves me, because she is the one that He created when He thought of me.

Signed,

A grateful and undeserving husband

This and That

We've had a few things going on in Haiti...

Kylie and Brooke entered their first Horse Show on Sunday!   They had a blast.  It was a proud mom moment for sure!  They both did very well!  Kylie just began taking lessons in May and has made learned a lot in a short period of time.  She did her first jump ever in the show.  No practice. No instruction other than watching her younger sister in lessons.  They can't wait to get back on the horses this week.

Kylie and Brooke finished their school year on Monday.  Kylie is now officially a 5th grader!  Brooke is now a 3rd grader!  seems impossible.  It's been a long year for all of us.  There were times we all thought we wouldn't make it.  A big thank you to those who stepped in and helped through out the year...two great grandmas, Vanessa, and Drew...Thank you so much for the time you invested in the girls and for the help it was to me!  We had a fun celebration Monday night complete with mac 'n cheese with bacon, cupcakes, ice cream sundaes, movie, and sleep out on the balcony (by sleep out I mean Jeff and Kylie, Brooke for part of the night. Me, no I like my quiet bedroom)

Colton is just about finished with 8th grade.  That seems impossible too!  He's done a fantastic job of working very independently.  He's proven himself to be very responsible!

Count down to Pennsylvania...
The kids and I will be flying back to PA on June 12th.  I'll be staying for 10 days then returning to Haiti to work.  The kids will be in town for 6 weeks.  We are looking forward to some great memory making times with friends and family.  The kids are more than ready to go back for a while it should be a fun filled summer for them!

some things they hope to do while back:
Colton -
Hershey Park
Olive Garden
play laser tag

Kylie -
Hershey Park
Olive Garden
Pretzel world
Ride Horses

Brooke -
Olive Garden
Dutch Wonderland
Ride horses


In Haiti, we'll be running 3 teams this summer that will be doing medical work and construction on the medical facility.  Jeff will focus most of this time on the medical & dental facility.  I'll be working on planning the medical program as well as helping with clinics,  AWAKENHAITI writing, and spending time at the Good Samaritan Girls Home teaching computer and running gym classes.
We'll also be making room for the addition of 3 new full-time staff this summer!  We're very excited to have Kimberlee Peifer and Ben & Jen Beachy joining our work in Haiti!

Hoping to see many of you soon!
~Deb

Colton's essay on personal faith

24 May 2012, 10:46 AM:

The bible is the constitution for a Christian it is our law and it guides us when we are lost. We should use the 10 commandments are our guidelines for life. We should also try to live like Jesus lived.
God has power over everything the word of God is the truth and we should trust it. God’s word is still powerful, it always will be
The Holy Spirit is part of the Trinity. The Trinity is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is God.
Yes, we should share God’s word with others. It is the calling of all Christians.
We must share God’s word so that the lost can be found. I can show God’s love through my actions and by telling others about him.
Everyone who believes in God is the church. The church is alive; it is the people of God.
God called the church to exist so that we can shine a light. The church is everyone who believes in God.
God called the church to follow him and bring others to him. It calls and shows us how to bring other to him.
The church can be a place to come and worship with others and also to come in a time of need. The Church in the early times controlled the government now however; the church can still influence everyone.
The church should use its power and authority to help people make Godly decisions.

It is important to know God’s word because it can help us in times of need. I can read the Bible more.
To know Jesus is to believe that he died on the cross and rose again. Also to know that he is your friend. He asks for us to forget our old life and follow what he tells to do.
It means that you try to show God to others through your actions. We need to be filled with the spirit because without it we will have no motivation.

HEALED!!!

Sometimes our lives in Haiti are hard to describe in words.   Sometimes we see things that I really just need to process before writing about them.   Sometimes I can never bring myself to put things out there to the public.  For the past several weeks, I have been trying to figure out one particular event/or maybe process and how to think, feel and write about it.  I have been putting it off for reasons I can’t explain although I know people will want to celebrate this with us!

Its Suzette…

If you have followed our blog over the past year, you’ll know her story well.  If you haven’t please access  my previous posts from the archives about her so you can fully understand this situation.  Beginning with “Canaan” from Dec 31, 2010, “Suffering Can be good” June 5, 2011, “Suzette” Sept 10, 2011, and “Suzette” Sept 27, 2011.

The very first day I sat on the floor of Suzette’s shelter listening to her story these words stayed with me; “I know God wants heal me”.  For me, one of very little faith, these words didn’t stick with me because I expected it to actually happen, but they stayed with me because it was the beginning of Suzette’s lesson for me of what true faith really is.  I believed God could heal her, but seeing how He used her in her suffering, I didn’t really know if God wanted to heal her here on earth.  Looking back now, I see how little faith I had and how much faith she had.   

My last two trips to see Suzette have been completely different than any before.  I hadn’t been to see Suzette for two months, the longest stretch without a visit.  When I arrived with a group of People in April, she welcomed us standing in her front yard.  Me:  clueless.  We then proceeded into the house where Suzette normally asked someone to help get each of us a chair, this time she was getting us chairs.  Me: still clueless.  Next, I noticed the mat she normally laid on the floor was missing.  Me:  starting to finally put things together.  I asked Suzette, “where is your mat?”   She replied with “it’s gone, I sleep in the bed now.  Me, feeling a bit confused at this point, but starting to put all these clues together asked her how she was feeling. 

     Suzette looked at me with a slight grin and explained that her pain and bleeding were gone and she could no longer feel the tumor that had been growing in her.  For three weeks, she had been SYMPTOM FREE.  She explained that she didn’t know if she was completely healed, but she was symptom free.  After picking my jaw up off the floor, I tried to speak, but could only weep.  As I’m trying to pull myself together to just acknowledge God’s faithfulness and give Him praise, something about Suzette struck me; she wasn’t surprised.  She wasn’t surprised at all.  She knew it all along and had patiently waited with anticipation.   I was ashamed of getting to a point after praying with her for almost a year and a half where I didn’t expect.  I didn’t anticipate. 

A quiet whisper spoke into me before going there that day that said “what if we show up and Suzette is better” but I brushed it aside thinking it was just my wishful thinking. But I still didn’t anticipate.  I was also humbled to the ground that God would allow me to be part of something so significant.  Not that he needed me, but that He allowed me to experience it.

Just two weeks later, while running a clinic I looked up out the door of the building to see Suzette walking up the road by the church.  Before that, part of me wondered if the symptoms would return.  I wondered if the healing would only be temporary.  Seeing Suzette that day confirmed healing still.  She was energized, practically jogging up the road.

Another week went by and Suzette’s daughter came to clinic to be seen and asked if we planned to visit her mom, she wasn’t doing well.  She had pain and bleeding again.  All my fears, questions, unbelief came rushing back. Satan used that moment to enhance my doubt.  When we arrived at Suzette’s this time, I expected to see the scene I had been part of for so many months…Suzette lying on her mat in great pain and suffering.  Instead, what I saw was the same scene as the previous visit.  It turns out Suzette had been working in her garden the day before, WORKING IN HER GARDEN and experienced some pain, but it wasn’t the pain she had with the cancer.  For a woman in her 50’s who went from laying on a mat all day everyday to working in her garden, who wouldn’t have some pain????

Suzette proceeded to share with me her most recent dream from just the night before (those of you who have been here know Suzette has dreams often that have messages from God, very significant ones).  Someone in the dream told her to ask Madame Jeff (that would be me, because in Haiti, I don’t have my own name…Jeff thinks this is pretty funny) to give two injections to heal her wound.  It turns out I have no injections what so ever to give her, but I sensed strongly that God wanted me to pray for complete healing for Suzette.  We gathered around Suzette and laid hands on her and prayed.  We prayed for more miracles in Suzette.  We prayed for God’s medicine because we didn’t have the medicine she needed.  Now looking back, there are other times I wish we didn’t have the right medicine for people so we would rely more on the Holy Spirit for results.  For that time and place, it was that simple.   No doubts.  No hesitation.  Only faith and expectancy.    

As I wrote in one of my previous posts, “if God heals Suzette of her cancer, God is God and God is good.  If God doesn’t heal Suzette of her cancer, God is still God and God is still good.  To God be the glory!”

Today I can say, “God healed Suzette, God is God and God is Good!  To God be the glory!”

Thank you to so many who have prayed unceasingly for Suzette both here in Haiti and from your own homes! 

What if

What if I ...

                     

·         was 23 years old

·         Living in a third world country with my aunt and uncle because both of my parents died

·         wasn't going to school

·         didn't have a job

·         relied on others for my well-being, just as a child does their parents

·         That aunt and uncle had nothing

·         lived in a home where adults smothered me with protection because they were afraid of the decisions I would make

·         lived in a culture where Christians can be very judgemental of someone else's circumstances

·         lived in a culture where shame is used to try to teach one a lesson

·         lived in a society where it is easy for a young lady to be taken advantage of

What if I lived in this world and what if I...

....became pregnant?



what would I do?

who would I trust?

what if this were me?

what if this were one of my daughters?



but...

In some ways, is this really that different from things in the developed world?

how many girls are taken advantage of in the developed world?

how many parents/guardians smother their children so much that the child wants nothing to do with them?

how many mothers are left trying to figure out how to raise a child with nothing?

how many Christians judge others for mistakes made?



here though...

there's no child welfare system

there's no food stamps

there's no coupons

no WIC program



Here there's Family, community, and God.   

So who can she trust?  The answer is simple.  There is only one answer.  There is only one who is trustworthy.  I wonder if she knows him. I wonder if she’ll turn to him now.  I wonder if I’ll get a second chance to tell her about him.



This is the story of a young girl who came into our clinic on Wednesday. We don't know what her future holds. We don't even know if we'll see her again in the clinic. We can only hope and pray that she makes good decisions now in caring for herself and her baby and that we’ll get a second chance.

~Deb

computer class

When I was asked in November by a team member whose family owns an office supply store if there was anything we needed, I replied, "well we've started this computer class with our kids homes so there may be some things needed for that at some point. 
When another member of the same family planned to come to Haiti this month, they again asked, "is there anything you need, can you use some more laptops?"  I humbly said we could use a few more so we can teach a few more kids computer skills.  Never did I imagine what this family had in mind was something so much more!
14 new laptops were sent down for our ministry!  I can't begin to express how much of a blessing this is!  We now can teach all the upper middle school and high school girls together instead of in 3 groups and because I will be spending that much less time teaching, I will be able to add a class for the younger girls to start this summer!  AND...we will have enough computers to begin a computer lab at the school in Canaan next fall!!!!
We are so excited about the addition of this ministry!  Thank you for such a meaningful donation!

Building a Kindergarten!!!

check out the new project in Canaan!
http://awakenhaitiawarenessactionhope.blogspot.com/2012/04/building-kindergarten.html

Lead me to the Cross -- The Passion of the Christ

Happy Easter and Resurrection Day to all of our family and friends!!!  We love you and miss you!

Innovation at it's best!

I should really carry a camera at all times while driving the streets of Haiti, you never know what you will see.  Last Wednesday morning driving to Canaan proved that not only should I have the camera in the front seat with me, but have it out and ready.  Wish I had. 
The night before it had rained for several hours.  Not the kind of steady rain we see in Pennyslvania, but downpour for hours for about the 3rd night in a row.  What does this mean?  It means the main intersection on the way to Canaan is full of water.  While there are many reasons rain like this is frustrating and bittersweet, on this particular day it provided a bit of entertainment for those of us who laugh easily.  Like when people fall, you all know who you are, I'm one of them.  No one fell on this particular day (at least that I saw), but the picture of this young man is still very vivid in my mind.  Just the way someone falling would be.  I have a snap shot that I can replay over and over, but unfortunately can't share with others. 
We often refer to Haitians as very innovative people.  People who just are used to fending for themselves because the government doesn't.  People who are resilient because they have to be. 
So on this particular morning amidst the hussle and bussle of the busy intersection/gas station/tap-tap station, one young man found a way to be just that...innovative in earning money for the day.  This creative dude in cutoff capris and beat up flip flops was making money by carrying people on his back across the water/mud covered sidewalk.
 People traveling to work or school dressed for their occasion, not for what they would find in trying to get a tap-tap.  The only way was across the 10ft section of sidewalk and road  was taken over by the muck that ran down the hill and settled there. 
As we sat through 2 or 3 red lights, we watched women and men alike hop on the guy's back(similar to what you would see Brooke do when her little legs get tired on a walk), get carried the mucky 10ft distance, set down, reach in their pocket for a coin, hand it over, then continue on their journey.  Back and forth he went. He must have made 40 gourdes just in the time we looked on.  Wonder how much he made before the water finally settled enough to drain off...
Wish I had my camera ready, next time I will.