How is it that something that came so easily for so long can be taken from us and become a wall we constantly run into? Every time we think we have let the wall fall, we quickly realize its actually still there, keeping us from being able to freely step forward; into using a gift God has given us. A gift we feel Him calling us into discovering more than before. What is it that keeps the walls around us from tumbling down? Maybe fear, doubt, failures, criticism, judgement, sometimes things we can't even identify.
I have had this wall in front of me for a number of years keeping me from writing. I have been on this cycle of thinking I could move past it. Feeling God calling me to use this gift, although I don't see it as a gift of talent but rather a gift of freedom to express what is happening, what God is doing and what I am learning through all of that. There have been times I feel this draw that pulls me to pen and paper but when I get there, something is blocking me from even the first word. For years now, this thing that stands in my way has been way too high, too insurmountable.
However, last week in Tangier, God changed something in me. Through the women's Bible study that I prepared and lead, He spoke some much needed things to me; hope, encouragement, a reminder of His faithfulness and promises.
Haggai 2:9 ~ "The future glory of His Temple will be greater than its past glory, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies. And in this place I will bring peace, I, the Lord of Heaven's Armies, have spoken!"
The Jews were trying to rebuild God's temple in Jerusalem when they returned from captivity. They had been more concerned with their own lives to worry about the temple and then when they did begin work, they looked back on what was and how beautiful the temple had been. They became discouraged that the future temple could never measure up to what was. But God promised to bless them for their obedience and that the future glory was going to be even greater than the past glory.
In Isaiah 43:18 God says: "But forget all that" (the victory God brought to the Israelites over Babylon) "it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am going to do something new. See, I have already begun, do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."
There's freedom in God's promises. He has proven himself faithful time and time again. We cannot stay stuck in the past, in what was, in doubt and fear that we will never measure up or the thought that God can't do immeasurably more than He did before.
Going back to some messages we received from God as we stepped into our time in Haiti; we strive to live a life that demands an explanation and to live life wide awake. We can only do this if we fully surrender to His plan and follow Him so closely that we just know what He's calling us to. It starts with just one step.
So today is my first step. Not just in writing again, but there's something more God is calling me to. It's going to require more faith and I am sure I will see God's glory even more than before and I need to be able to write about it to bring more praise to His name!
I pray that if there is something standing in your way to what God is calling you to, that you allow His promises to tear down those walls giving you freedom to step in.
