Are you ordinary?

Not really sure what to say after the last post.  The one where my loving husband listed so many of the things I love and boasted about the things he loves about me.  There is no transition from that.  Other than to say that there really isn't anything special about me. To most, I am just ordinary.  To me, I'm just ordinary.   Thankfully my husband sees me otherwise.
I wonder how many people see themselves as just ordinary...
Our parents, teachers, coaches, and mentors tell us we are actually extraordinary, we can be extraordinary.  Then God tells us we are all equal.  He loves us all the same.  Doesn't that make us all kind of ordinary?  or all extraordinary?

"I used to think I had to be somebody important to accomplish things, but now I know Jesus uses ordinary people more."  ~Bob Groff, Love Does

The last few months, God has been grinding this thought into me.  He is showing me in little ways how he wants to use somebody as ordinary as me to do important things.

"I used to thing you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes." ~ Bob Groff, Love Does

In early May as Vanessa and I were doing a very small quiet clinic in Canaan, we had a young lady come in, maybe 19 years old.  She described every symptom of pregnancy, but claimed there was no way she could possibly be pregnant.  Vanessa asked if she would be willing to do a pregnancy test anyway just to rule it out..."yes."  As we gave her the positive result, someone in the quiet waiting room ran to find the aunt this mom to be had been living with for the past year since the death of her father.  The aunt unloaded all of the disgrace she brought to the family because "Christian people don't do this" and "the people in the church may think it was the uncle" since the young lady wouldn't give up the father's name.  Before I took her to meet with Pastor Nathan's wife, Olive to work through some of the initial emotions, Vanessa invited her to come back to the clinic this summer to get a check up and so we could give her vitamins.  When she returned last week, she told us her aunt has come along side her and is supporting, loving, and encouraging her which is absolutely beautiful.  But what's to become of this uneducated, unemployed mom who probably doesn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby or herself?
 In late May, I walked into the church in Canaan to speak with Pastor Nathan and found him counseling a young couple.  I politely interrupted and as I did so, the young women before me looked at me with not a speck of white in her eyes, but rather, blood.  I had to sit so I wouldn't pass out as Pastor Nathan proceeded to tell me about an incident that had taken place in their home just the day before.  This beautiful young lady had been tied to a chair and gagged and the only thing that stopped the husband from killing her was a neighbor who could hear him hitting her.  The uncontrollable rage the husband felt was due to a child she had before they were together.  A child he refused to love.  After filing a police report, she was reconsidering pressing charges so they could be counseled through it instead of him going to prison.  For us, in our naive American minds, we think how could she even reconsider this right?  Is that what you are thinking?  It's what I thought initially.  But what would any of us do if we were responsible taking care of 3 children with no opportunity to earn money without a husband around?   In June, I saw this same couple in the clinic.  She has a plan to leave him to go to family in the country side.  But when?  what until then? and what then?

 In our medical clinic a few weeks ago, I met with a young lady after she had seen the doctor.  She was very stoic, but the doctor thought she might need to talk.  She had been trying to have a baby for 3 years and was pregnant at the time, but had previously had 2 miscarriages.  That particular day in the clinic, she described symptoms that lead the doctor to believe she was getting ready to have yet another miscarriage.  Ummmm....I have not gone through this.  I have no idea how this young lady is feeling.  I can only guess.  As I talked to her and tried to encourage her, she finally broke and let herself feel the pain she was carrying.  In a country where so many children are not wanted or are mistreated.  This one young lady can't seem to have the baby she so desires.
In clinic last week, a young woman suspected she was pregnant and after we prescribed medication for her illness, she asked if we did pregnancy tests.  We do.  When we shared the positive news with her, she stopped smiling.  We told her we didn't want her taking the medication we had given her because it could be dangerous for the baby, to my dismay she wanted the medication because she already had two children and certainly didn't want one more to try to provide for.     After having to set my personal desire to plead with this mother to not end a life, a life that God created, I thought to myself "So what happened to birth control?  What happened with education on this matter?". I then began a short educational class, just she and I...where else was she going to learn it?

For me, yes, I saw that God used me, ordinary me because I said yes in several different circumstances.  He used me in little ways to love these women.  But really, he used them too.  Ordinary them to accomplish things in me.  To break my heart for something that not only breaks theirs but also breaks our father's heart too.  God used ordinary them so that I could see just a little deeper the burden God has for women and their well being here.  This deep burden I have for women; I keep thinking it's my passion, it's my burden therefore it will come in time when I have time to focus on it.  It will be the "second phase" .
But if God is using ordinary them to show ordinary me his broken heart for women, won't he use ordinary me to do something important when He wants?  Won't he do something important like provide women's health care, women's health education, and job opportunities for women through ordinary people like me, if only I say yes? 
My prayer is that if this part of the medical center is important to our God than he uses ordinary me and many other ordinary people who are willing to say yes!

So tell me about....

Right now I am reading a devotional called “Sacred Marriage” I haven’t really read enough of it to have an opinion of it yet, but I was taken back a little bit by the second chapter. 

In it, the author, who also holds seminars on marriage, states that when he sits down with a couple for the first time he always asked them: “So, tell me some things about each other.”  He has found that when he asked this question to an engaged couple they light up with enthusiasm as they start to describe all the things they are to each other.  They share how wonderful she is at doing this or how great he is at doing that.  He says that it is usually the only question that he has to ask, and the young couple in love takes it from there.

He goes on to say that he also asks the same exact question to couples that are already married.  To the author’s dismay, he normally gets a very different response from them.  He states that it is still the only question he has to ask, but the responses are more about what he or she is not instead of what they are.  He ends his thoughts with this quote:  “Where is the bridge that leads people to stop defining their spouse for what they are and start defining them for what they are not.  The sad answer, unfortunately, is marriage.” 

Well, that caused me to think about, if he asked me, what I would say about my wife.  After 20 years of marriage here would be my response to the question:

“SO, tell me about your wife?”

“Ok well,

§          She is my best friend.

§         She loves me like no one else can.

§        She is stunningly beautiful.

§        She loves chocolate.

§        She is the strong one that makes this all work.

§        She loves to watch the sunset.

§        She has three very lucky kids that get to call her mommy.

§        She brings out the best in me and in others.

§        She acts on her passions.

§        Sometimes I get a glance of her and feel paralyzed because I can’t take my eyes off of her.

§        Her compassion, love, and understanding for strangers is one way the Holy Spirit shines through her spirit.

§        She is confident without being prideful.

§        She honors me, even when I don’t deserve to be honored.

§        She loves to have her hand held.

§        She loves to read with her feet in the ocean.

§        She makes a really good friend.

§        While she can hold the attention of 30 three year olds, she is at her best with just one that needs a friend.

§        She can make a pair of jeans, a tank top, and flip flops, look like an evening cocktail dress with heels.

§        She is a compelling speaker.

§        She makes me better and challenges me to become more.

§        Sometimes she just can’t stop laughing.

§        She finds peace in God’s creation.

§        She loves get up early to sit on the porch with a cup of coffee and just be still.

§        She a farm girl at heart, and I love that.

§        She is what our girls want to be.

§        She is what I want for our son.

§        A wink from her makes my day.

§        She loves the sun and cherishes the rain.

§        She doesn’t just stand by me, she stands with me.

§        I know my day was ok when her eyes are the first and last thing I see.

And it’s one of the reasons I know how much God loves me, because she is the one that He created when He thought of me.

Signed,

A grateful and undeserving husband