Just when you think it can't get any worse here... I have heard some horrific stories here. I have seen some pretty bad things. I have loved some really hurting children. Not that I am numb to any of it because while some things may become normal, I don't think I could ever become numb to the majority of life here. Today our family went to a beach resort for the day. We needed some time away for us to just be a family (which has grown from 5 to 7, sometimes 8...no, no babies, no adoptions like many would think, but an additional 26 year old, 30 year old, and sometimes a 20 year old). We were celebrating Colton's 13th birthday and getting everyone out of the walled in yard we can sometimes feel trapped in. The day was great, relaxing, fun, and not to mention, sun and sand! We came home to find our Stephanie here waiting for us. She always comes on Saturday, but not normally until dinner time. We had been looking forward to a family movie night also with the new Narnia movie Colton had just gotten for his birthday. Needless to say, we were all pretty chipper, Stephanie, however was not her usual bubbly self and I thought maybe it was that she was upset that we hadn't taken her to the beach (which I will not neglect to do again), but turns out she just needed a mom today. For some reason, I began asking questions about Steph's mom...how she died, and so on. Stephanie was 6 years old when her mother died. She remembers her. She remembers her mom singing to her and to those who know Stephanie can imagine that's where she got her beautiful voice. She knows if her mother were alive today, she would be taking care of her elderly father and Stephanie wouldn't have to. Stephanie wouldn't have to be a wife and mother at age 20. It's just not right. Just when I thought...I want to just go in my room and shut the door and cry for a while. No child should have to live this. Just when I thought it couldn't get any harder, the things we see people dealing with. She's personal, her story is personal, her struggles are personal. So while I sometimes question my role here, my gifts here...today God gave me another gentle reminder of how he has a purpose, and a plan. We may not save this country. We may not save every person. But God has brought certain people into our lives here to help, guide, walk with, but most of all, be blessed by. There's a song "I saw what I saw" by Sara Groves that has always made me think of Stephanie and the more I get to know her, the more it reminds me of her. Stephanie may need a mom at times and be blessed by the sense of family she has when she is here with us. But she blesses me...her strength, her courage, her determination.