So sometimes when I try to write, the words I have in my head don't end up on the screen the way I want and sometimes when I am processing things, I have to wait a day before writing so I can write clearly. This time, I didn't follow that process and my last post was confusing, unclear, and I think misunderstood. Here's what I was trying to say, but couldn't find the right words at the time: I learned Stephanie's mom had died when she was younger when I sat and talked with her two years ago. What I didn't know was the personal details that went with that death. Details that could only be talked about as we've spent more time with Stephanie. Through the course of our conversation, I found out Stephanie's mom was killed by some people that knew her. Stephanie was six years old. Old enough to remember what happened. Old enough to remember what her mother was like. When I asked her if she remembered her mom, it brought a smile to her face...a great big Stephanie smile! I'm thankful she has a memory of her mom. Her younger brother probably doesn't and her younger sister definitely doesn't they were only 3 and 1 at the time. Stephanie still lives at her home with her 83 year old father who needs care like a young child. She also takes care of the cooking and cleaning for her three brothers who are old enough to do it themselves. She's a 20 year old who doesn't get to live like a 20 year old...except when she comes to our house on Saturdays and Sundays. Those are now her days to be a kid. We love her like our own child. We tell her to go play instead of washing dishes (sometimes). Our kids love having her here to play with as a sister. Even Colton has taken on the role of annoying brother, picking at her just to get her going! And we take her to church as part of teaching her to do things as a family. When I made the comment, about things being worse, it's the personal stuff. It's the stories of those we now love who have suffered so much. It's bad enough this country has so many struggles, but as we establish relationships here, the layers are being peeled off, the front people put up to cover hurt tears down. Sometimes I don't know what to do with that hurt. Last night, I was angry and hurt for a little girl. I think God is just asking us to love, love, love. Go and love. As we love on Stephanie, we hope she is blessed by it. But as I wrote last night...WE are so blessed by her strength, courage, and determination.