Emily

Many people who have come on teams to Haiti have been on home visits with me.  Most of those people have been deeply impacted by the experience we had in these families' homes.  I have been deeply changed because of what I have learned from the ladies I've made home visits to.  Over time though, I've allowed fear to in some ways hinder the work I didn't even know God was doing in the people we were visiting, in the team members that missed the opportunity, and even myself.  I go into these home visits not having a clue what to expect.  Not knowing what we will talk about.  Not knowing if I will be prepared for what is ahead. But normally, I leave there either having been touched deeply myself, having encouraged one who really needed it for the day, or hearing later in the day how it moved someone who was visiting with me.  There were times I felt God nudging me to visit someone, but fear kept me from it.  At times, I wasn't willing to risk being uncomfortable.

Emily and her husband Ludniere are a couple we met in the medical clinic in May of 2011.  He had fallen off a ladder while painting and spent several months recovering from a head injury.  That was our reason for beginning to visit them in their home.  Vanessa was taking pain medication to him and checking in, I was just checking in and offering to pray for them.
Upon our first visit, I found out that Emily had been at the church in December (2010); she was the woman Jeff and Pastor Nathan were there to pray with as she became a Christian.  It was in that visit too that Pastor Nathan led Ludniere through prayer to give his life to God.  Pastor Nathan also shared with me that this family living in a 6' x 6' tin shack with 3 children were among the most poor and needy in his church community.

I continued to visit month after month just checking in and offering prayer.  Emily always accepted, but I was trying to read her demeanor and what I was reading was that I was intruding and that she was just being polite in letting me pray for them.  My perception of these visits allowed me to convince myself that God really didn't ask me to go there and that it was better to not continue to visit.  The last time I had been there was October 2011.
In a conversation with Pastor Nathan in January, I found out Emily and Ludniere hadn't been to the church in a while and that in fact, their neighbors were reporting they think that the couple were practicing Voodoo again.  It was definitely better I didn't go visit.  They surely didn't want me there now and anyway, what do I know about witnessing to someone who is so tied to Voodoo, I don't understand it enough.  I  was not the right person for this.  I was not equipped for this.  Definitely better if I stay away...
In May and June, Emily came into our clinic.   I noticed she was expecting a baby, gave her a friendly greeting and left it at that.  It was safer and much easier.
 Part of me knew God was prompting me to visit her again, but I brushed it aside.
 I began thinking more and more of Emily and her sweet smiling little boy, her daughter who is mature beyond her years and the little baby girl who always sat playing in the dirt when we arrived.    In July, I decided it was time to make a visit.  I took a group of people  to visit Suzette that scorching July day planning to make the visit afterward.  I figured if I told the group ahead of time we were going to Emily's, I'd have to go, no chickening out, however, part of me hoped she wouldn't be home when we arrived.  The part of me that trusted God to provide me with all I needed was missing that day.
Emily was home and after some conversation we learned Emily and Ludniere now have 5 children (or at least 4 + 1 due any day) living in this tin shack.  It turns out her husband had a baby with someone else and he now lives with them.
I apologized for not visiting for so long.   I then asked her if it would be okay if I started visiting on a regular basis again?  She laughed and told me "yes, it wasn't okay that you stopped coming".
When I ran out of things to say, but knew there was something I needed to say, Junior stepped in to tell me to ask how her relationship with God was...DUH!
When I asked her, she couldn't look me in the eye.  She smiled and politely told me what she thought I wanted to hear.
After praying for her, I couldn't not say what I knew God wanted me to say (I don't think this is how Jesus would have said it, it would have come out a bit more eloquently.  "Emily, God sent me here today.  He wants you to turn to him, to seek him out and know him more.  And...I'll be back to visit you".
Not one of my finest moments.  Not one of my most insightful or convincing messages, but I showed up and God showed his faithfulness.  Hopefully by showing up again and again, Emily will begin to trust and hopefully as I show up and see God's faithfulness again and again, I will begin to trust more too.

Please pray for Emily and her family