Vanessa and I have finally gotten a chance to spread our wings and drive ourselves alone further than Belmart and the orphanages. It may not sound like a lot and in the states, maybe not, but here it is a big accomplishment to feel ok driving across town (like 6 miles =45 minutes) in Haiti traffic not following the big white truck or relying on others to take care of us. We worked at a medical clinic on Tuesday for Child Hope International through some connections at church. We were there to help, but also to see how they run things in their clinic as we prepare to run ours. It was good to work with some others who have been here for a while and also reaffirming in what we are doing and that we are doing things "right" if that even exists here.
Friday we ventured to Canaan to run a clinic for the first time without having a team here. Things couldn't have gone smoother except for the shear number needing to be seen. We went thinking we would see 15 people, that turned into 35-40ish. We left promising to see the other 36 when we return in two weeks. We can probably safely assume there will be another 35 on top of that waiting.
I am amazed at how we can visit a place like Canaan for so many months and totally not even see past the surface. There is so much need there we didn't know existed. Beyond the poverty. Beyond the brokenness of loss during the earthquake. Medical needs we didn't see. Education needs we didn't see. Discipleship needs we couldn't see. Our pastor at Port-au-Prince Fellowship says "Missions starts with SEEING". Now we SEE at least better than we did before.
In our medical clinic, we can treat people for anemia, worms, scabies, headaches, and some infections. But it can't end there. People need to be educated on such basic things as hygiene, hydration, and vitamins in order to prevent the illness they are being treated for from reoccurring.
A mom has to be taught not only how to treat her 3 year old with scabies, but also hygiene practices to prevent other family members from getting.
A young mom comes in whose 5 month old appears to be 2 months weighing 14 lbs. The baby is clearly not thriving and now has a fever. This new mother comes to us asking "what do I do?".
Another young woman comes in severe pain with some kind of abscess/infection under her arm. How has she managed to get through the last 3 days with this excruciating pain? She couldn't even lift her arm. No tylenol, advil, vicodin.
We teach what we know, we encourage, we give medicine, instructions & some vitamins and send them on their way. Back into their world. Their world of poverty, heat, no electricity, no fans, not enough food, food with very little vitamin content, insufficient water and hope when we SEE them next month that what we've done has made a difference.
What did these people do before we were involved? Some gathered resources to get to a doctor. Some sucked it up, others prayed, some used cultural natural remedies. These people are resilient people. They are resourceful people. They amaze me.
As hard as it is to SEE, I'm thankful AWAKENHAITI was chosen to SEE and can be used to help in a small way.
The task is big. But our God is bigger.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Changing lives
I always try to give a summary of the trips we host, giving you and idea of what was accomplished in the tangible sense as well as lives I see being changed around us whether it be Haitians or those serving. But those are my words, my perspective. Today, some members of Team June began sending emails to each other sharing their struggles and how they were feeling since leaving Haiti. One young lady, Nicole, went through a tremendous amount of healing over the past several months, and now, transformation is happening. Today, she shared what she is experiencing. God works in amazing ways when we step out of our norm and open ourselves up to HIM. In Haiti, we don't have all the distractions that are present in North America, perhaps that's why we see him moving and speaking here so clearly to so many.
This is Nicole's summary of her 2 days since leaving Haiti.
"I struggled to even sleep last night knowing I would have to get in my car piled with work papers and gym bags to drive to the same place I did before I left, sitting at the same desk, in the same dimly lit room. As I went to turn on the same radio station that I listen to every morning, it went out. I began to scan through the stations until the scan stopped. All of a sudden, Phil Wickham's "Beautiful" sang out, reminding me of singing with a raised hand in our church in Haiti while holding a small wiggling boy and his sunglasses in the other. I broke down. I knew I was not the same, that things had changed inside of me now more than any other trip. I'm not fighting assimilation, I just can't assimilate. I can't go back to the way things were, the person I was, and truthfully, I never want to.
Before I left, I saw holes; holes in everything - work life, car rides, prayer time, Bible devotions and evenings of magazines and TV at home. I was okay with a lifeless routine because it gave me comfort in what I had lost, a false feeling of joy that I could have a new, just as regimented schedule by myself. There were things that weren't right about each part of my life. Either I wasn't really present while completing those tasks, or I saw them as just that: tasks. My life was a to-do list of what was next, only coming after what was checked off as accomplished. I made lists on little post-its of things I had already done on extra rough days.
After crying the whole way to work, I realized that I wasn't crying solely out of a longing to be on a gated truck, riding the potholes to the orphanage, shoveling stones, and painting cubby holes. I was crying for the life God allowed me to see there, for Haitian life, the changing lives of my team members, and the transforming life in myself. Sure, I miss the sun (minus the burns), the community of my greatest friends and new family, the singing, the truck rides, and the meals of fellowship together, but these things all represent something so much greater. This wasn't a trip. This wasn't an 8-day short term solution for my short term desires. I did not go to feel good or to rack it up on my list of places traveled, to come back with pictures and return to pre-trip "normal".
People in my life have said, 'But it was just a week. You always feel funny getting back into your life after vacation.' But I don't feel "funny", I feel ROCKED. My life changed, a long term change that I still can't take complete inventory of. I asked for that, and God was faithful. I asked that He break my heart for what breaks His. I am broken. I think I was crying partially out of praise; celebration in the promise that He will never lie and He will never run. This was not just a trip, but it became part of me, part of my walk, and part of my eternal story (what will get my heart from this life to eternal life).
It makes sense to feel shaken, so I'm trying be peaceful with these feeling of chaos inside of me. I don't feel okay, and I'm glad for it. Part of the processing for me is figuring out what parts of my life seemed "normal" that have been dismantled, why they had to be turned inside out, and asking him to direct me in what to do with those holes in my life and my heart.
I was processing with a few people last night and said that I don't know where to go from here. I'm not quite sure what to do with ALL of this. I think that's part of God's desire for my heart - that I give up my plans for things, seeking His guidance and His will, because I am created as a child of God, and a servant of His heart, not my own. I have lived to long by my failing plans and nights or worry. I'm sure, as Ryan said, there will need to be a new "normal", but I hope that "normal" is rocked often, reminding me of who and what I'm living for."
Nicole
This is Nicole's summary of her 2 days since leaving Haiti.
"I struggled to even sleep last night knowing I would have to get in my car piled with work papers and gym bags to drive to the same place I did before I left, sitting at the same desk, in the same dimly lit room. As I went to turn on the same radio station that I listen to every morning, it went out. I began to scan through the stations until the scan stopped. All of a sudden, Phil Wickham's "Beautiful" sang out, reminding me of singing with a raised hand in our church in Haiti while holding a small wiggling boy and his sunglasses in the other. I broke down. I knew I was not the same, that things had changed inside of me now more than any other trip. I'm not fighting assimilation, I just can't assimilate. I can't go back to the way things were, the person I was, and truthfully, I never want to.
Before I left, I saw holes; holes in everything - work life, car rides, prayer time, Bible devotions and evenings of magazines and TV at home. I was okay with a lifeless routine because it gave me comfort in what I had lost, a false feeling of joy that I could have a new, just as regimented schedule by myself. There were things that weren't right about each part of my life. Either I wasn't really present while completing those tasks, or I saw them as just that: tasks. My life was a to-do list of what was next, only coming after what was checked off as accomplished. I made lists on little post-its of things I had already done on extra rough days.
After crying the whole way to work, I realized that I wasn't crying solely out of a longing to be on a gated truck, riding the potholes to the orphanage, shoveling stones, and painting cubby holes. I was crying for the life God allowed me to see there, for Haitian life, the changing lives of my team members, and the transforming life in myself. Sure, I miss the sun (minus the burns), the community of my greatest friends and new family, the singing, the truck rides, and the meals of fellowship together, but these things all represent something so much greater. This wasn't a trip. This wasn't an 8-day short term solution for my short term desires. I did not go to feel good or to rack it up on my list of places traveled, to come back with pictures and return to pre-trip "normal".
People in my life have said, 'But it was just a week. You always feel funny getting back into your life after vacation.' But I don't feel "funny", I feel ROCKED. My life changed, a long term change that I still can't take complete inventory of. I asked for that, and God was faithful. I asked that He break my heart for what breaks His. I am broken. I think I was crying partially out of praise; celebration in the promise that He will never lie and He will never run. This was not just a trip, but it became part of me, part of my walk, and part of my eternal story (what will get my heart from this life to eternal life).
It makes sense to feel shaken, so I'm trying be peaceful with these feeling of chaos inside of me. I don't feel okay, and I'm glad for it. Part of the processing for me is figuring out what parts of my life seemed "normal" that have been dismantled, why they had to be turned inside out, and asking him to direct me in what to do with those holes in my life and my heart.
I was processing with a few people last night and said that I don't know where to go from here. I'm not quite sure what to do with ALL of this. I think that's part of God's desire for my heart - that I give up my plans for things, seeking His guidance and His will, because I am created as a child of God, and a servant of His heart, not my own. I have lived to long by my failing plans and nights or worry. I'm sure, as Ryan said, there will need to be a new "normal", but I hope that "normal" is rocked often, reminding me of who and what I'm living for."
Nicole
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Team June
Wednesday, we served in Canaan. When I stood back and watched the team, I saw one of the most beautiful sights yet. Jeff and I talk about how teams, while here are an extension of us. It's kind of like arms extending out in all directions. That's exactly was I witnessed in Canaan. I saw some working alongside Haitians on the church/school building...shoveling small rock into wheelbarrows, moving big rock, watching Haitians mix concrete by shovel in a pile on the ground (I say watching because Jeff is sure Americans would not mix properly). Some were playing energetic games with kids. Drew lead others in painting shelters. Vanessa and a few ran some medical exams. Still, a handful spent time talking with and praying for individuals. What a blessing to us and to those we minister to, to have so many different gifts on one team and to see them all being used in their own individual way! We truly felt God's spirit as we served in Canaan.
Thursday was a much needed day at our Good Samaritan Boys Home. Our boys don't see us nearly as much as the girls do. We so appreciate all the yard work and clean up that this team did. A basketball hoop now hangs there, giving us a great avenue to make connections with the boys. We just get run over in soccer. More than all the work though, spending time with our boys and giving them encouragement was amazing.
Thank you Team June!
There was a lot of work being done for Haitians this week and many were very encouraged by the outpouring love, but there was also a great work being done within this team. God's spirit was so evident within this team all week as we shared with one another. There was emotional healing in a few individuals that was amazing to watch. God was speaking to some about what their next step will be in taking part of Haiti back to their own communities and reaching out. Some were encouraged to continue to seek God's plan for their own lives. This is what AWAKENHAITI is all about. Yes, we minister to the Haitians, but we also minister to the broken who are coming to serve.
All this belongs to God. He gave us this vision. This ministry is His. Everything that happens here is because it is His plan.
Thursday was a much needed day at our Good Samaritan Boys Home. Our boys don't see us nearly as much as the girls do. We so appreciate all the yard work and clean up that this team did. A basketball hoop now hangs there, giving us a great avenue to make connections with the boys. We just get run over in soccer. More than all the work though, spending time with our boys and giving them encouragement was amazing.
Thank you Team June!
There was a lot of work being done for Haitians this week and many were very encouraged by the outpouring love, but there was also a great work being done within this team. God's spirit was so evident within this team all week as we shared with one another. There was emotional healing in a few individuals that was amazing to watch. God was speaking to some about what their next step will be in taking part of Haiti back to their own communities and reaching out. Some were encouraged to continue to seek God's plan for their own lives. This is what AWAKENHAITI is all about. Yes, we minister to the Haitians, but we also minister to the broken who are coming to serve.
All this belongs to God. He gave us this vision. This ministry is His. Everything that happens here is because it is His plan.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Team June
Team June is uhhh, such a great group of people! A group that already knew each other fairly well before coming and have bonded even more. I really want to share some of the spiritual stuff going on...good stuff... really good stuff. But I for now, just some general info, more later.
Monday and Tuesday, work was being done at the Good Samaritan Girls Home. Yard work, much needed weeding, cleaning up, laying stone. Hanging organizational shelves and hooks, again much needed. A few benches and a table were built and painted. It was very cool to see the ladies who sit outside cooking all day on little children's chairs, enjoy the new bench built just for them. Sometimes little things go a long way. Electricity is being hooked up with an inverter system so the girls can have electricity more often and for longer periods of time.
More than the tangible material things though, relationships are being deepened on this team and The Good Samaritan Girls Orphanage is being transformed into The Good Samaritan Girls HOME! A process we have been trying to establish for 6 months with birthday parties and little things. We so appreciate Team June walking alongside AWAKENHAITI and the girls we minister to!
Monday and Tuesday, work was being done at the Good Samaritan Girls Home. Yard work, much needed weeding, cleaning up, laying stone. Hanging organizational shelves and hooks, again much needed. A few benches and a table were built and painted. It was very cool to see the ladies who sit outside cooking all day on little children's chairs, enjoy the new bench built just for them. Sometimes little things go a long way. Electricity is being hooked up with an inverter system so the girls can have electricity more often and for longer periods of time.
More than the tangible material things though, relationships are being deepened on this team and The Good Samaritan Girls Orphanage is being transformed into The Good Samaritan Girls HOME! A process we have been trying to establish for 6 months with birthday parties and little things. We so appreciate Team June walking alongside AWAKENHAITI and the girls we minister to!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
There is Always Enough
Today we welcomed Team June to Haiti. This group is made up of a few that have been to Haiti before, but the part of the group that have not been here are so fired up to be here, to just serve in whatever capacity is needed. That's a very cool thing. Some come with their own agenda whether it is for the good of the Haitians and the organization or not. But we see God confirming the very reasons we are here by the people that have been coming. When you are open to what ever God has in store and are open to hearing Him speak BIG things happen.
I have been reading a book called "There is Always Enough" that a sweet friend gave me. Story after story of how God has always provided, there has always been enough in a ministry among the poor in Africa. I know without a doubt God has brought us here for a purpose. He has given AWAKENHAITI a specific vision, but for the last few months, I have been searching and seeking God's guidance to really figure out what my role and what Jeff's role should specifically be independent of each other and what role others should fill. As I read through the end of the book, God reminded me of what our process was to get here and what it should still be in moving forward. I don't think I would do it justice to try to sum it up so I'm just going to quote what Rolland and Heidi Baker have to say beginning with them speaking to visitors coming to help them about how they can help...
"You can spend a few weeks of your life to get a glimpse of how much of the world lives and let your heart break. But more deeply, in order for you to be useful to the Master here or anywhere - you must be close to Him and in love with Him. To the degree that you are intimate with him, you will know what to do, what you must do. Jesus says drastic things in Scripture, such as"
"You still lack on thing, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Luke 18:22
"We need to know what He is telling each of us specifically. Do you want to love Him and be blessed by His presence? Here in Africa (or Haiti). He is all around us. He is poor, sick, naked, and hungry. And as we get intimate with Him, we find ourselves taking care of Him and He will say on that great day"
"Come you who are blessed by my father; take yor inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Matthew 25:34-36
"We preach the word, we bring the gifts of the Spirit, we celebrate and worship, we press on toward eternal life fishing for the souls of people everywhere, but Jesus can tell if we love Him. Will we even bring Him just a cup of cold water when He is thirsty?"
-Amen
I have been reading a book called "There is Always Enough" that a sweet friend gave me. Story after story of how God has always provided, there has always been enough in a ministry among the poor in Africa. I know without a doubt God has brought us here for a purpose. He has given AWAKENHAITI a specific vision, but for the last few months, I have been searching and seeking God's guidance to really figure out what my role and what Jeff's role should specifically be independent of each other and what role others should fill. As I read through the end of the book, God reminded me of what our process was to get here and what it should still be in moving forward. I don't think I would do it justice to try to sum it up so I'm just going to quote what Rolland and Heidi Baker have to say beginning with them speaking to visitors coming to help them about how they can help...
"You can spend a few weeks of your life to get a glimpse of how much of the world lives and let your heart break. But more deeply, in order for you to be useful to the Master here or anywhere - you must be close to Him and in love with Him. To the degree that you are intimate with him, you will know what to do, what you must do. Jesus says drastic things in Scripture, such as"
"You still lack on thing, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." Luke 18:22
"We need to know what He is telling each of us specifically. Do you want to love Him and be blessed by His presence? Here in Africa (or Haiti). He is all around us. He is poor, sick, naked, and hungry. And as we get intimate with Him, we find ourselves taking care of Him and He will say on that great day"
"Come you who are blessed by my father; take yor inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Matthew 25:34-36
"We preach the word, we bring the gifts of the Spirit, we celebrate and worship, we press on toward eternal life fishing for the souls of people everywhere, but Jesus can tell if we love Him. Will we even bring Him just a cup of cold water when He is thirsty?"
-Amen
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Suffering can be good
I had another visit to Suzette in Canaan last week. I wrote about her in a previous post in December. My first time there was in December when the team we had there was painting her son's home. Hearing her life story as a single mother, then moving out of the city to Canaan where, for her, life has been more difficult because things aren't as accessible, it wasn't the fact that she was a single mother for so many years in a country that's hard enough as an intact family that really struck me. It was how she is dealing with having uterine cancer. How her faith remains so strong. She was a true testament to me.
I revisted her in April. She said she was doing better, but to me she didn't seem much better. Still we talked with her and prayed with her which was all we could do.
Last week, we had a doctor (Dr. Dave) from Canada staying with us. We took him to Canaan where he and Vanessa planned to do some follow up visits to some patients that had been seen in May. I really wanted to be there for one in particular so I tagged along with my own agenda. Funny, how our own agenda while we think it is really good and maybe it is, sometimes gets squashed by something better. Something bigger. This was one of those days. None of the patients on the list for the day could be found. As we walked around following a Haitian who "knew these families", I saw Suzette's house, which I've managed to stumble upon twice now without knowing where I was going. It was time for another visit.
This time was different. Suzette was clearly in a lot of discomfort and pain. Her spirit was not the same. This disease is definitely taking it's toll. After a bunch of conversation, Dr. Dave was able to do an exam on Suzette and confirm that yes, most likely it is cancer. Not really anything we can do other than give her something to help her with the pain.
So as a few times before in Canaan, I find myself in a place where all there is to offer is prayer. My instinct is to want to DO, GIVE. Isn't that how many of us respond when we see a need? We want to throw our resources at the problem and fix it. Not in this place. God has put me in my place in Canaan to show me HE doesn't need my resources. He needs me. He needs me to have faith so others can see faith. He needs me to humble myself enough so He can be praised.
I can't stand to see this sister in Christ suffer so much. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it. I completely believe God can heal her. She believes He will heal her. But, sometimes healing isn't granted until we walk through the door into heaven. Everytime I leave Suzette's house, I have to take a minute to catch my breath, like I just got punched in the stomach.
We had a guest speaker at Port-au-Prince Fellowship today. Low and behold, he was talking about suffering. Pastor John said something that really rang true to me as I have been processing our visit to Suzette..."what we think is good is that which makes us feel good. God's definition of good is that which brings us closer to Jesus."
Whether God heals Suzette on this side of heaven or not, her suffering is not in vain. She is very close to Jesus in it and it is contagious to those who spend time with her and that is GOOD!
Blessings,
~Deb
I revisted her in April. She said she was doing better, but to me she didn't seem much better. Still we talked with her and prayed with her which was all we could do.
Last week, we had a doctor (Dr. Dave) from Canada staying with us. We took him to Canaan where he and Vanessa planned to do some follow up visits to some patients that had been seen in May. I really wanted to be there for one in particular so I tagged along with my own agenda. Funny, how our own agenda while we think it is really good and maybe it is, sometimes gets squashed by something better. Something bigger. This was one of those days. None of the patients on the list for the day could be found. As we walked around following a Haitian who "knew these families", I saw Suzette's house, which I've managed to stumble upon twice now without knowing where I was going. It was time for another visit.
This time was different. Suzette was clearly in a lot of discomfort and pain. Her spirit was not the same. This disease is definitely taking it's toll. After a bunch of conversation, Dr. Dave was able to do an exam on Suzette and confirm that yes, most likely it is cancer. Not really anything we can do other than give her something to help her with the pain.
So as a few times before in Canaan, I find myself in a place where all there is to offer is prayer. My instinct is to want to DO, GIVE. Isn't that how many of us respond when we see a need? We want to throw our resources at the problem and fix it. Not in this place. God has put me in my place in Canaan to show me HE doesn't need my resources. He needs me. He needs me to have faith so others can see faith. He needs me to humble myself enough so He can be praised.
I can't stand to see this sister in Christ suffer so much. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it. I completely believe God can heal her. She believes He will heal her. But, sometimes healing isn't granted until we walk through the door into heaven. Everytime I leave Suzette's house, I have to take a minute to catch my breath, like I just got punched in the stomach.
We had a guest speaker at Port-au-Prince Fellowship today. Low and behold, he was talking about suffering. Pastor John said something that really rang true to me as I have been processing our visit to Suzette..."what we think is good is that which makes us feel good. God's definition of good is that which brings us closer to Jesus."
Whether God heals Suzette on this side of heaven or not, her suffering is not in vain. She is very close to Jesus in it and it is contagious to those who spend time with her and that is GOOD!
Blessings,
~Deb
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Jacques is home and doing very well. He has very little pain and can't wait to get back to work! Thank you for all of your prayers for him!
Please lift up little 2 year old Rebecca from Freedom Grace Orphanage. She is scheduled for surgery June 10, but is in the hospital now having all of her pre-surgery work done and may end up having surgery early. This will be the first of three surgeries for this precious little girl. She is in good hands at a great children's hospital and in better hands of a powerful Father! Please pray for her over the coming weeks.
We so appreciate you joining us in prayer for these big needs!
Please lift up little 2 year old Rebecca from Freedom Grace Orphanage. She is scheduled for surgery June 10, but is in the hospital now having all of her pre-surgery work done and may end up having surgery early. This will be the first of three surgeries for this precious little girl. She is in good hands at a great children's hospital and in better hands of a powerful Father! Please pray for her over the coming weeks.
We so appreciate you joining us in prayer for these big needs!
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